Beneath Jennifer Aniston's picture perfect/perennially single facade brews a terrible secret, one that is almost too horrible to imagine — she has a half-brother. Though she hasn't acknowledged his presence by rattling off everyone in her family tree every time someone puts a microphone in front of her, her dad John is said to have fathered some guy called Alex — or "AJ" — a 22-year-old "scruffy punk" who lives between Santa Cruz and northern Alaska. "He had a mattress in the back of his van, always had the same pair of pants with 20 patches on it and only had three shirts. He just hung out in his van on the beach, and would come in all sandy," said body piercer Samantha Robles of the "boho surfer." While their famous kin was off being all kinds of glamorous in LA, AJ's former neighbour Rich Koslowski said that Jen's brother and father enjoyed spending some quality time together playing Oscar the Grouch. "I figured out who he was when one day I saw the dad turn up. I had friends out back and AJ and John were going through the garbage can." Though the tabloids this week will no doubt pile on Jennifer for not performing her very own rags-to-riches style makeover, everyone says that AJ is perfectly happy with the way things are. "I think he's very happy being off the radar," said Samantha's boyfriend, Mateo. Check out the cover of Australian tabloid New Idea for photos of "The Boy Jen Tried To Hide." [Radar]

Whoever ends up playing the title role in any of the countless Whitney Houston biopics surely headed our way is in for a world of scrutiny – and Rihanna thinks she might have what it takes to stomach it. "My first song that I remember falling love with was a Whitney Houston song, 'I Will Always Love You.' It was really inspiring and it made me develop a passion for music, so really, she's partly responsible for me being here in this industry," she said. "That would be something that I would have to give my entire life to do, because I would really want to pull it off. That's a huge, huge role and whoever does it has to do a good job." [US]

He's made a name for himself outside the fashion world by acting like a fucking tool at almost every opportunity, but the tide turned for Karl Lagerfeld after he called Adele fat and now he wants to make it up to her by sending her a whole bunch of Chanel bags. "He told his team to send Adele the best the fashion house have to offer after hearing she collected bags. He said he really wanted to make it up to her so they could maybe work together in the future. He could see her fronting a campaign for Chanel Mademoiselle bags when the contract with Blake Lively ends," said a source. "He's annoyed with himself because he ended up insulting her when he meant to compliment her. He thinks she's beautiful and calls her divine." Calling someone fat when you mean to compliment them — I hate when that happens! [The Sun]

After Zooey Deschanel Tweeted this old picture of her mom Mary Jo Deschanel it's immediately clear where the youngest actress of the family gets her everything. [Twitter]

Keen to get her post-probation career off the ground, Lindsay Lohan is pushing a boulder in front of the ol' love cave and saying no to dating and all of its partying and DUI possibilities while she prepares for her role in the Elizabeth Taylor biopic, Liz And Dick. The title clearly lends itself to a bit of wordplay, but after mentioning her love cave – © Jerri Blank – I'm leaving it well enough alone. [Page Six]

Obvious product placement is the worst and ad execs are taking it to new sacrilegious heights by changing James Bond's tipple of choice from martinis to Heineken. That's right, not only is Daniel Craig contractually obliged to front for the ale in a new ad campaign, his iconic character will now be drinking it in place of shaken, not stirred spirits in the latest installment, Skyfall. "[Bond] is a perfect fit for us," said Lesya Lysyj, chief marketing officer of Heineken USA. "[He's the] epitome of the man of the world." Worst. [E!]
Though Daniel Craig will still be totally hard-ass by parachuting into the London Olympics opening ceremony. [EW]

  • When it comes to cyclist versus driver we now know where Tracy Morgan sits, the 30 Rocker having a whine about his car door after taking someone out. [Page Six]
  • On the other side of the spokes, James Marsden got lost while competing in a triathlon over the weekend and cycled an extra eight miles by mistake. [Page Six]
  • Ladies and fellow gentle'mos, I'm sorry to inform you that Adam Levine and girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna have called it quits. Stay strong. [NYDN]
  • Olivia Wilde and Chris Hemsworth didn't actually get married, they're just on a film set. Which is just as well as he looks terrifying in his Willy Wonka-esque getup. [E!]
  • Babies give me the willies for some reason – perhaps it's all that lolling around and crying malarkey – but give me a chubby little foot I'm cooing with the best of them. Which I'm doing on the inside now that Hilary Duff has Tweeted this picture of baby Luca's tootsies. [E!]
  • Real estate porn: the Ashton Kutcher edition – if you forget what a full-time frat house it's about to become. [E!]
  • Can you believe that Taylor Swift got totally wasted and ended up passed out in a pool of her own filth after scoring big at the Academy of Country Music Awards the other night? Yeah, me neither. Perhaps one day, but until then she had a lovely Japanese dinner with family and friends. [E!]
  • Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz were spotted together last night, which is strange considering last month's break-up. A source says they're not getting back together so finger snaps all round for their possibly regrettable booty-call. [E!]
  • Speaking of relationship merry-go-rounds, Ashley Olsen proves she can still do better by hanging out with wannabe Hot Topic model Jared Leto. [NYDN]
  • After battling breast cancer and undergoing a double mastectomy three months ago it's no surprise that Giuliana Rancic had a "hate relationship" with her breasts. [US]
  • Oprah admits that starting up your own network is a bit of a drag and says she regrets the decision. [US]
  • Nick Cannon has decided to educate the interested about his health woes – and the poor guy has had a shitload of them lately – with an online documentary series. [People]
  • Forget Jersey Shore, nothing beats the low-rent beauty of The Only Way Is Essex, according to Claire Danes. [Daily Mail]
  • Though Camille Grammer is out the rest of The Real Ghouls Of Beverly Hills will be back next season. [Radar]
  • Fans of complaint emails take heart: James Cameron reshot a Titanic scene five million years after wrapping the film after astronomer Neil deGrasse Tyson sent a "snarky" email about inaccurate star fields. [The Grio]