A special report by British investigative powerhouse the Daily Mirror lifts the lid on Michelle Obama's proclivity towards surrounding herself by handsome famous men – the First Lady ensnaring George Clooney and other sexy luminaries under the pretext of a formal dinner at The White House. Though guests believed they were there to honor UK Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife Samantha with a British/American themed party, the Mirror reports it was all a ruse so that Michelle could flirt shamelessly with Georgie Boy, who she made sure was seated next to her. The absence of the actor's girlfriend Stacey Keibler only adding credence to their claims. Though it wasn't all footsies under the table, with the Downton Abbey fan also inviting Hugh Bonneville — aka Lord Grantham – to the flimsy excuse of a party. Well played, Michelle. Well played. [Mirror]
Adding a bit of danger to the proceedings, George Clooney came under fire — in the very real sense — during his recent trip to Sudan. [Today]

It was enough to give you the willies, but Bobbi Kristina's de facto brother Nick Gordon says that they aren't a couple and are instead helping each other through the grieving process. Raised like a son by Whitney Houston, Nick admits that he and Bobbi are close but that's all there is to it. "We're just close - just going through her mom's passing and grieving together," he said. However, after photos of them kissing and holding hands emerged last night it appears that he has a unique take on how to best handle the grieving process. We'll be bringing you more on this telenovela of a story as it breaks. [NYDN]
Whitney's mom, Cissy, says what they're doing is all kinds of incestuous. [TMZ]

Say what you will about her acting talent, Jennifer Aniston has a nice face. And that face can be yours for a mere $141K/year. If you act fast, they'll also throw in her killer body – dieting determination, however, will cost extra. Annnnnd scene. Basically, some site has put together a list of things that Jen spends her inordinate salary on every year: from nightmarish chemical peels and "Red Carpet" facials (which has an obscure sex-act vibe) to neck ointment, the thing reads like a bunch of product placement. Apparently, she didn't murder hairstylist Chris McMillan, who created "The Rachel," because still gets him to tend to her tresses at $600-a-pop. [Page Six]

In further suspect body image news, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is lusting after The Situation's form. In a covetous sort of way. But it's all for a job, with JGL wanting to prep for a part in Don Jon's Addiction, which he wrote and will be starring in with Scarlett Johansson. "He plays a sex addict who works out obsessively," says someone. "He wants to look like a Jersey Shore meathead!" [In Touch]

She's riding a career high but Kristen Wiig is ready for her most important role to date – motherhood [insert E!-style voiceover here]. People be lying/saying that she wants to have a baby and will either trick boyfriend Fabrizio Moretti into it or adopt. "She's worried that she's getting too old; she either has to start trying immediately or adopt," says a fake insider. "She hasn't broached the subject with Fab yet." [In Touch]

It appears that Kirsten Dunst has come down with a touch of the Anna Wintours, after staff at the Chateau Marmont asked that other guests please use the stairs because the actress was currently occupying the elevator. "They said Kirsten Dunst was going up and down," said a source. "They said nobody else could enter and asked other guests to take the stairs." Firstly, if this is true and I was a guest I'd love it because I could scream at the concierge the next day until they comped my room. Secondly, going up and down? [Page Six]

While we were watching Kony 2012 videos, Angelina Jolie chose a more hands-on approach and took daughters Zahara and Shiloh to The Hague to watch Congolese warlord Thomas Lubanga get convicted of kidnapping and recruiting young kids to become child soldiers. [US]

If these awesome teen-era pics she posted are anything to do by, it's high time Gwen Stefani did us all a favor and joined the Twitterverse. [US]

  • I don't even have smart-assy commentary to add because the fact that Jennifer Lopez's stunt double is a man is awesome on every level. [Daily Mail]
  • News that someone hacked Roberto Cavalli's Twitter account and he didn't actually say he was designing a wedding dress for Jennifer Lopez totally ruined this morning on the lukewarm gossip front. [E!]
  • Jennifer sure has one mouthy publicist, the rep explaining that the singer/actor/tabloid star can't have a meaningful relationship. [Radar]
  • Say goodbye to your '90s crush: Seann William Scott is engaged to Victoria's Secret lingerie model Lindsay Frimodt. [SF Gate]
  • Though she sincerely hoped her late billionaire partner Teddy Forstmann was the father of her child, it appears that Padma Lakshmi is shit out of luck because Adam Dell … is the father (of her daughter Krishna)! [Page Six]
  • Macaulay Culkin's estranged father Kit showed his concern about his son's recent weight-loss by running to the tabloids and expressing his concern about his son's recent weight-loss. [Page Six]
  • He may love slicing off elephant tails and boasting about it, but Donald Trump Jr. also loves the gays and accessible abortion. He's an enigma wrapped in an asshole! [Six Pack Radio]
  • The woman behind the alleged affair that broke up Peter Facinelli and Jennie Garth's marriage says she only came forward because the story needs to be told – to gossip publications. [Scallywag And Vagabond]
  • Jennie and Peter say the cheating talk is "hurtful." [E!]
  • Jon Hamm has delivered another kick in the figurative guts by saying that he wasn't calling Kim Kardashian an idiot, just her public persona. [NYDN]
  • Breaking! Miss Piggy has just revealed her shocking plastic surgery secret: she is 99.9% Botox! [Radar]
  • Jeremy Sisto and his wife Addie Lane are the latest to bring a child into the world … to steal our precious oxygen. [US]
  • Drake says he regrets being a bit of a slut in his past and now prefers to share a connection in the bedroom, on the kitchen counter or in the back of a car. [US]
  • It's just as well that Jennifer Lawrence looked good at the Hunger Games premiere because her dress took 800 hours to make. [US]
  • Prince Harry says he's not so much looking for a girlfriend but someone willing to take on the full-time job of being his girlfriend. [US]
  • Friends With Kids star Adam Scott says Channing Tatum's ass is so perfect sex toy companies should take a cast of it for male masturbatory aids. [Ministry Of Gossip]