If someone had told you yesterday that Charlize Theron would become a mom before the uber-pregnant Jessica Simpson, you probably would have laughed in their face. Well, today you'd be eating crow, because Charlize just announced the exciting news that she's adopted a baby boy.

His name is Jackson, and he is apparently from the United States. He's African-American and healthy, and beyond that we don't know anything else about the little guy. The 36-year-old actress is the latest in a string of powerful Hollywood ladies who've adopted on their own. No word on how long this has been in the works, but Theron is reportedly happy, because, well, duh. Shall we start taking bets on how long it takes for the media to stop calling Jackson her adopted son and just refer to him as a plain old son? Months, years, decades? [Us]

It looks like problem-plagued Lindsay Lohan might be catching a break. Her supposed hit-and-run victim from last night turns out to have "major credibility" issues. He's apparently changed his story significantly, at first saying he hadn't been hit and later saying he had been after he found out who'd been driving the car. For her part, Lindsay tweeted, "Scrape? This is all a complete lie. I've been at community service. Last night, I attempted to wish a friend happy birthday, which I didn't even get to do because I was freaked out by all of the paparazzi. These false accusations are absurd." So far it's looking like LiLo won't be charged with anything, which means she won't be heading back to jail anytime soon. [Radar,E!]

There's never a dull moment when Joan Rivers is involved, and now an employee of her company has filed a sexual harassment complaint against her. Apparently, Joan was putting some jewelry on her as part of a business meeting, using the woman sort of like a human mannequin, and she got a little too up-close-and-personal for comfort. The woman complained to her supervisor, and it resulted in the whole company attending a sexual harassment seminar. The complaint was eventually dropped. Joan had a typically sensitive and compassionate reaction, which was basically, "Blow me." [Radar]

Well, spoilsport Barbara Walters watched The Bachelor finale, and she was not amused. She said on The View, "I lost an hour of the rest of my life watching the last hour of The Bachelor. … Say whatever you want, and then I will drone on because I am deeply offended." She added, "I think this show is such a degradation to women." More like a degradation to all of humanity, but Walters works in television, doesn't she know that's practically the whole point of all programming these days? [Us]

Oh, sadness. Jeremy Renner's beloved puppy Franklin has died. Renner left the 8-month-old dog with his friend and business partner, Kristoffer Winters, while he was out of town. Winters took Franklin, a French Bulldog, to a little league game with him, and apparently the dog started convulsing and died. It's not known whether it was a pre-existing heart condition or a whether he was overcome by heat or what. But whatever the cause, Renner is understandably grief-stricken. RIP, little Franklin. [TMZ]

  • On a happier note, Beyonce and Blue Ivy™ are becoming a regular two-lady walking team. On her latest venture into the great outdoors, Bey was sporting some leopard print cat flats and Blue had on tiny mouse slippers. True, the combined cost of both pairs of shoes is $726, but it's cute enough that it could—in some alternate reality where money is no object, like the one Beyonce lives in—be worth it. [E!]
  • Move over, Rachel Zoe, there's a new hot stylist in town, actually 25 of them. The Hollywood Reporter has ranked the 25 most powerful stylists in showbiz, and the number one spot goes to Kate Young, who styles Natalie Portman and Michelle Williams. Last year, Zoe held the top spot, and this year she's not even on the list. Way harsh—or not, THR says she's "too big to rank." You know who is on the list though? Brad Goreski, Zoe's former assistant, whom she won't publicly acknowledge anymore. [Yahoo!]
  • If you are the kind of person who wants to see Bobbi Kristina Brown kissing her "pseudo-adopted brother" Nick Gordon, then TMZ has some video you might be interested in. [TMZ]
  • This will come as a completely shocking shockety shock to all of you, but a deeply insightful source has said the memoir/tell-all that Bobby Brown is peddling about his time with Whitney Houston is "completely self-serving." What is the world coming to? [E!]
  • Earlier today, Camilla Parker Bowles wore a brooch given to her by Prince Charles. That wouldn't be odd, except he previously gave the brooch to Princess Diana. Is that weird? Technically, the brooch is owned by Queen Elizabeth, but it is kind of odd to give the same brooch to both your wives. It really seems like there should be more than enough royal jewelry to go around. [Daily Beast]
  • After a third horse died yesterday on the set of the HBO show Luck, the show has finally been put out of its misery and cancelled. [TMZ]
  • If you're a Game of Thrones fan, you might want to invest in a few—or a few thousand—of these four new collectible Entertainment Weekly covers. [EW]
  • She may make her living on television, but that doesn't mean she lets her son watch it. Juliana Margulies says her four-year-old Kieran is limited to two hours of TV per weekend and none during the week. That's enough, she says, that he still likes to read and do other non-technology things, but he still knows what the other kids are talking about. [People]
  • I can't even keep track of all the people wanting jobs, receiving job offers, and turning down job offers on The X Factor, but the latest news is that Glee's Darren Criss was offered a hosting gig but politely declined. [E!]
  • January Jones may have added some pink streaks to her hair, but she still looks very much like January Jones. [Us]
  • You probably already have tons of plans in the books for February 24, 2013, but you'll need to cancel them all because it's been announced that that's when the 2013 Oscars will be taking place. It's never to early to get started on your movie-themed menus. [E!]