Dear Cory McGruder,
You weren't the craziest person who ever emailed me during my three-plus years at Jezebel. You weren't the angriest. Despite your occasionally sunny disposition, you weren't the nicest either. But over the years, you've become one of my favorites. And that's why, on my last day here at Jez, I'm addressing my farewell letter to you.
It's true: I'm leaving. I will miss my wonderful coworkers, everyone at the Gawker offices, our smart and engaged readers — and yes Cory, I will miss you. I'll miss your unique interests, which seemed to run heavily toward sexual harassment, bullying, and boobs (of a lady whose breast implants saved her life in a car wreck, you wrote, "this is AWESOME!!!"). Oh, and whores — you called Katy Perry a "divorced whore," and used the w-word plenty of other times along the way.
I'll miss your editorializing, like when you wrote to us about a study involving slut-shaming:
According to this new study out of Indiana University of Pennsylvania (link below), "slut-bashing" is the lastest form of sexual harassment that needs to be addressed. So now, we have to provide environments for sluts so that they can be free and safe to be as slutty as they want to be. C'mon people, isn't this just a step too far? My question is: Who is the female who will come forward and say, "I'm being slut-bashed"? Because the obvious response to that is, "Well then stop being such a slut, you little hooker!" C'mon folks, this is just TOO MUCH!!!
I'll miss your helpful explanations, like "THESE are the types of women that men, and MANY WOMEN, refer to as 'SLUTS'!"
I'll miss the time you sent us a tip about our own website:
On the website Jezebel.com, some writer named Erin Gloria Ryan wrote a piece mocking this sexual purity ad (link below) that was made for the Annual Day of Purity that will be celebrated on Valentine's Day (February 14th). How can someone be against an ad that encourages kids to remain sexually pure until they get married? I think the only women who don't like the idea of sexual purity are the skanks who have already given up the goods and are now jealous of the people who have remained pure because the people who have remained pure are held in very high regard and skanks like them are looked at with disgust, contempt, and nausea...they are looked at like the used-up pieces of meat that they are
I'll miss your judicious use of caps-lock, as in, "THE FILTHY WHORE LIED!!!"
I'll miss your thoughtful side too, like when you asked us, "According to a Huffington Post column, today's men have grown up internet porn and now want their women to be pornstars. What do you think?" What do you think, Cory? In all these years, I've never really known. Except when it comes to sluts — I know what you think about them.
Most of all, though — and here I'm being serious — I'll miss your help. Even though you probably disagree with me on almost everything, and even though you seem enraged by many things I think of as important social reforms, I've actually picked up more than a few of your tips and written about them. You seem to know what kinds of things we're interested in at Jezebel, and you keep sending them in, day in and day out, even though we never pay you and frequently champion the slutty, birth-control-taking, sexual-harassment-alleging women who get you so worked up. In your own inimitable caps-locked way, you actually give me hope for dialogue.
I'll be taking that hope with me to BuzzFeed, where I'll be writing for a new women's section — so if you so choose, you can follow me over there. But I have a hunch you're staying put, Cory. You're a Jezebel now, whether you like it or not. So to you, and to everyone who has made this such a warm, fun, and rewarding place to work for the past three years — to staff, commenters, and readers past and present — goodbye, good luck, and keep doing what you do so well. Even you, Cory. Especially you.