QVC threw a fancy-schmancy pre-Oscars party at The Four Seasons last night and managed to actually get some nominees (of years past) to attend the event that was otherwise reality TV-heavy.

What do you see in Nicole Richie's sequined Rorschach test dress?

Doesn't this seem like it was party full of people who know Paris Hilton? First Nicole Richie and now Paris' mom Kathy Hilton and her aunts Kyle and Kim Richards. Kim (in black), who's fresh out of rehab seems like she had the most presence of mind when getting dressed that evening. Also, did you notice that she's carrying the infamous silver clutch that she kept on her lap during her entire interview on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion?

Kris Jenner gets a pass on the bandage dress because her shoes with the mirrored platform are disco fun. It's difficult to tell if Kim Kardashian is actually aiming for a Robert Palmer backup dancer look.

The sporadically-placed sequins on Gabourey Sidibe's dress gives it a terrible Glad-bag sheen. Anna Kendrick is going cutesy for her LBD, while Kimora Lee Simmons' facial muscles seem to have lost the battle with whatever the fuck she over-injected.

See, after seen that the party was being thrown by QVC, I would've done what Jamie Chung did and wore a totally casually cute dress and then would've gotten there and seen all these bitches in sequins and been like "What the fucking fuck?" Molly Sims makes pregnancy look like it's actually something civilized. (It's not!) And while I like that Wendi McLendon-Covey embraces her paleness, her color palette is kind of just a creamy blur, which is a bad thing because "reamy blur" sounds like a euphemism for ejaculate.

Pretty colors: Lisa Rinna, Regina King, and Stacy Keibler.

This is actually the first time this awards season that Penelope Ann Miller didn't appear outright horrid. Designer Olga Sorokina seems decent enough, unlike Cheryl Burke, who looks like when Snooki tries to class it up.