Sarah Palin, Mean Queen of the Snow Machine, has a bone to pick with New Jersey's condescending prick of a governor Chris Christie. Namely, Christie called GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich an "embarrassment" to the Republican Party's principles on a weekend talk show, and that bothered Palin so much that she felt compelled to talk to it on Fox News. Palin? Gingrich? Christie? Fox News? Team nobody!
The whole rigamarole started when David Gregory asked Christie if he felt Newt Gingrich would embarrass the Republican party. Christie said that Romney has never and would never embarrass conservatives (aside: has he ever seen Romney try to talk off the cuff? Every time Romney tries to Have a Feeling that isn't related to how passionately he loves capitalism, he comes off with that robot machine gun laugh and that dead behind the eyes fear grimace of his and I could just about cry it's so awkward for everyone. But I digress!). Gregory pressed, and Christie doubled down,
Well, listen, David, we all know the record. I mean, he was run out of the speakership by his own party. He was fined $300,000 for ethics violations. This is a guy who's had a very difficult political career at times and has been an embarrassment for the party. You remember these times, you were here. So, the fact of the matter is I don't need to regale the country with that entire list again except to say this. I'm not saying he will do it again in the future, but sometimes past is prologue.
Palin, who has all but endorsed Gingrich for President, did not like that. On another one of her ironic guest analyst appearances on hipster network Fox Business News, she sniffed that Christie's statement was a "rookie mistake," that he'd just played into "the media's" hands, and that he'd produced a soundbyte for a Democratic attack ad should Newt become the nominee.
Palin added, condescendingly,
You know, sometimes, if your candidate loses in just one step along this path, as was the case when Romney lost to Newt the other night - and, of course, Romney is Chris Christie's guy - well, you kind of get your panties in a wad, and you may say things that you regret later. And I think that that's what Chris Christie did
Palin calling Christie a "rookie" and telling him to adjust his enormous underwear is a pretty Palinesque thing to say, as Christie has been the governor of New Jersey for just about as much time as Palin was governor of Alaska, and before he was governor of New Jersey he was a US Attorney appointed by George W Bush for 6 years, and Palin was just a concerned mom with bangs, several guns, and a kid named "Track."
As my grandma would say— she really thinks she's something, doesn't she?
On one hand, Chris Christie is on the record acting like a patronizing dick to women. Just a couple of weeks ago, he responded to a female heckler at a Romney rally by saying "You know, something might go down tonight, but it ain't gonna be jobs, sweetheart." Ew.
On the other: Sarah Palin. Defending Newt Gingrich.
A part of me wants to applaud Palin for giving Christie a taste of his own medicine. A part of me wants to resume ignoring the constant ambient mental hum of irritation I feel toward her. Another part of me wants to do what my mother did to my brother and I when we'd fight as kids— sit on the bottom step and hug for ten minutes. And a fourth part wants to pretend I never heard the words "Chris Christie" and "panties" in such close proximity to one another.