Body language expert Tonya Reiman stopped by today's GMA to let you in on a secret. Turns out, when it comes to dating, non-verbal signals matter. Did your mind just get blown? Well, piece your brain back together because Tonya "Stop the Presses" Reiman has some advice for using your body to catch a man (assuming, of course, that your vagina dentata doesn't do it first).
First of all, Reiman suggest touching and flipping your hair as much as possible. Don't have long hair? You are an undesirable so wear a wig (I recommend this one). Your hair shouldn't be the only thing you are continuously touching— rub your face and neck frequently. This will signal to your partner that you might be open to light choking once you're having sex. Lastly, Reiman suggests that you hold your wine glass in a way that "looks somewhat sexual." You can accomplish this after taking a few finger pole-dancing classes (pro tip: you can always find deals through LivingSocial) and tattooing "DTF" across your knuckles.
But what if Tonya's advice isn't enough? Don't fret, pets! I've got you covered. Here are five more ways you can physically show off your interest.
- Wear your bra over your t-shirt. This will give him a fun hint of what's to come later.
- Tonya says reading a book in a bar makes you seem unapproachable, but there is an exception if the book you are reading is called "Super Beej: A Girl's Guide to Giving Indiscriminate Blowies." (A quick search of Amazon tells me that this book does not exist. Make a fake book jacket using a paper grocery bag and wrap it around the outside of your favorite novel as an easy— and crafty!— alternative.)
- If there's a pause in the conversation, casually point to your vagina and wink. Repeat until conversation resumes.
- If you have gout, consider wearing wide-legged pants. They are fashion forward and will hide your inflamed joints.
- If you get bored talking to whoever is trying to chat you up (trust me, follow these tips and someone will try), feel free to visibly fall asleep a little. This will let your partner know what it will look like waking up next to you for the rest of ETERNITY.
You've got all the tools, now go get him!