The doyennes of backhanded compliment artistry are usually liquored up society women and drag queens, but Katherine Heigl's thrown her the acid-tongue in the ring by giving New Year's Eve co-star fellow actress Jennifer Aniston and her kind a quick one-two over their body obsessions. "I was 20 pounds heavier and wanted to look like those girls with fantastically beautiful bodies like Jennifer Aniston or Jessica Alba, but I just couldn't lose the weight," she said. "It's only now that I realize how hard those girls work for their bodies, and what level of commitment they make to do that. I'm too lazy and I like food and I like my free time too much to spend it working out!" Preach. [US]
Giving her husband carte blanche to knock boots with his groupies, Katherine also talks some sense when she says she'd probably give him a pass if he passed his penis around. [NYDN]

The bat-shit crazies are Janice Dickinson's most admirable trait, but who knew she could be equally fascinating when preaching gospel truth about her feud with Tyra Banks and how America's Next Top Model is totally rigged? Oh, no, wait, she returns to top form at the end when she says: "Fuck you, Tyra. Eat a bag of royal skank." She's so versatile. [OMG]

So much for being sheltered from the broke-ass razzle dazzle of Hollywood: Paris Jackson is set to star in her first film – a half-animated fantasy movie called Lundon's Bridge And The Three Keys. Though her family wanted to wait until she was 18 before putting her out to work, the 13-year-old convinced her gran by saying profits would go to schools and it was all about a young girl's relationship with her father. "Her character's strong love for her father is central to the plot," said someone. [The Sun]
Speaking of, glass half full Jane Fonda says Michael Jackson would have hated old age. [Contact Music]

For whatever reason, Ice Cube decided to get his Eames on and put his architectural drafting studies (for real) to use with an admittedly interesting designy tour of LA. And thank the chuckle gods he did, with gems such as these sprinkled liberally throughout: "This is going green 1949-style, bitch." He totally needs his own show. [E!]

Let's hope Rachel Weisz is blessed with a healthy dollop of self-esteem, with husband Daniuel Craig waxing lyrical about the "perfect" body of his The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo co-star, Rooney Mara – not to mention his easily misconstrued discussion of teen boy physicality. "She's physically perfect," he said. "When she puts the hoodie on and the leather jacket, she looks like a 14-year-old boy, she looks sexless. Which is perfect." [Page Six]

  • Lea Michele is playing hardball when it comes to putting herself out there as an Ashton Kutcher rebound option. [Page Six]
  • Potential goddesses are champing at the bit after Charlie Sheen accidentally published his phone number to his five million Twitter followers. [Page Six]
  • OMG! Has Taylor Swift, like, got a new boyfriend? [E!]
  • Madonna's powers of bitchery are clearly waning, opting to change out of a dress because Lourdes told her to as opposed to withering her with an ice-cold glance. [Page Six]
  • It appears that once you break up with Spider-Man you can never be friends, with Kirsten Dunst getting barred from a cameo in the new film. [Showbiz Spy]
  • Word has it that Angelina Jolie is nervous about politician's reactions to her directorial debut In The Land Of Blood And Honey, when she should be more concerned about you snarky lot. [Page Six]
  • Ange also offers up a few tabloid scraps by talking about her uterus. [E!]
  • Kris Jenner says that Kourtney Kardashian should name her baby after her. Of course she did. [NYDN]
  • Okay, this is kind of cute: Jessica Alba takes Honor Marie to visit Santa. [Radar]
  • A shining example of how a few words can speak volumes, J-Woww says her Maxim cover is her "highest accomplishment." As Jerri Blank once said (at the 2:50 mark): "If you're gonna reach for a star, reach for the lowest one you can." [NYDN]
  • Suzanne Sena of the Onion News Network discusses going from Fox anchor to awesome. [Vulture]
  • Sinéad O'Connor makes good on her promise to celebrate her 45th birthday by getting married in Vegas. [E!]
  • Is it just me or are there a shitload of cast and crew members dying on movie sets lately? The latest fatality happening on The Dark Knight Rises. [E!]
  • There's a second trailer for The Iron Lady, as usual Meryl Streep is pretty fab. [E!]
  • A friend of Rita Hayworth's doesn't believe her grandson Andrew Embiricos killed himself. Sadder and sadder. [People]
  • This video of Paris Hilton's Christmas party is kind of whatever until you reach the part where you see her staircase walls, which are covered with scores of framed magazine covers and paintings of herself. [TMZ]
  • Are we here already? There's talk of doing a remake of American Psycho, which means we're all really old. [Variety]
  • Joel McHale and the cast of Community play a little pop culture trivia. [Vulture]
  • A bit of an icky post, you be the judge of whether or not you want to see photos of Anna Nicole Smith pregnant, naked and spray-painted gold not all that long before her death. [Daily Mail]