That collective howl you hear outside right now are straight women who've heard the not-so blind item suggesting reports about Scarlett Johansson's alleged trysts with Joseph Gordon-Levitt were just to cover up the fact he's into guys. The item: "This sexy movie actress and this intense actor have been friends since they were kids. She definitely has a higher profile than he does, but lately he has been landing some big roles as well. When reports about them playing kissy face started to appear recently, it was puzzling because they make for a rather odd match. Well, we have a scoop for you. It's not a real relationship. Just a temporary bearding gig." Normally, this fan fiction is good for nothing more than a giggle, but because it's JGL I'm taking the Scar-Jo Match Point and Scoop movie hints as straight up fact. Sorry, ladies! [Blind Gossip]

Though we doubt talk of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's alleged dude-loving will stop Lindsey Miller's dating crusade. Posting that video we covered in yesterday's Dirtbag, wherein she asks him out on a date because she could relate to his portrayal of someone living with cancer in 50/50 and, well, because he's smokin', we can confirm it is now this much closer to happening. With JGL saying though he's yet to watch the video he plans to get on it soon. "Two other people were telling me about this, but no I have not heard about it until then," he said. "I haven't seen the video. I'll have to watch it." [E!]

Lady Gaga has outed herself as an inconsiderate asshole, admitting she wees in her dressing room – relieving herself in bin ahead of a chat show appearance in the UK. "I quite often pee in my dressing room in the trash can," she said. "The bathroom is down the hall and you must get redressed. So I said: ‘F*** it!' Otherwise, I'd be Latey Gaga." Those poor cleaners. [SUN]

Add on a few decades and this would be like cliché spinster fiction realized, Taylor Swift admitting she named her kitty Meredith after Ellen Pompeo's character on Grey's Anatomy. "Her name is Meredith," she said. "Meredith Grey because she's a gray cat, and because I love Grey's Anatomy!" Just add one pint of Chunky Monkey and a chardonnay-induced cry in the bathtub and you're there. [US]

If there's one non-ovary owner who people seem just as infatuated with on the baby front it's George Clooney. Seriously, it's always gay this and eternal playboy that. But his onscreen daughter Amara Miller says it's more likely due to the fact he'd make a shit dad. "Let me just say, he wouldn't be good as a father," said the delightfully precocious youngin'. "George has fun being an adult, and I don't think he would like having kids. I know that he's not planning on having kids anytime soon." [US]

Those crazy-ass Beliebers may have Mariah Yeater off their backs for now, but they shouldn't forget the more imminent threat to their delusional Justin Bieber marriage fantasies, sorry, for-sure upcoming nuptials – Selena Gomez. Appearing on Ellen, she agrees the whole DNA baby drama has been hard but says that everything is a-okay now that it seems to be subsiding. "Yeah, it's good to just kind of…be good," she said. [E!]
But it's not over yet for poor old Selena with her stalker being released from jail. [TMZ]
For future reference, David Beckham thinks Justin will make a tops father one day. [Entertainmentwise]
Update: The Beliebers can now focus all of their Charmed gleaned witchcraft on Selena, after more evidence arises that sullies the DNA case. [TMZ]

The baby thing nestled in her belly isn't stopping Beyoncé from getting down at Jay-Z's concerts. Waving her hands in the air like she just don't care and rapping along like a trooper – video at the link. Cute. [US]

  • Proof that Eva Longoria is boning Matt Barnes! Or that she's picking up a friend from the airport. [TMZ]
  • Apparently, Angelina Jolie is "going indie" after she hired a talent coach to find her independent film work and opted to release her directorial debut In The Land Of Blood And Honey in Bosnian rather than English. It's just a hunch, but something tells me that the second part may have been decided some time ago. [Page Six]
  • Back to the girls who never grew up, Brittny Gastineau (that name!) is, like, totally devo that her bestie Kim Kardashian won't text her back. [NYDN]
  • Kim Kardashian says that the ghost writer of the sister's new book Dollhouse plumbed plenty of material from their horrible, drab lives. [Page Six]
  • The Situation is suing Abercrombie & Fitch for saying they don't want him dressing in their frat boy fashions, asking for a very reasonable $4 million. [NYDN]
  • Ricky Gervais will host the Golden Globes, but we all knew that's what would happen, yeah? [E!]
  • George Clooney admits he's no match for hordes of emotional teens, joking that his new movie Descendents will "kick the hell out of Breaking Dawn." [E!]
  • The Muppets, however, are tackling the issue head-on with this awesome Twilight-spoof poster. [E!]
  • The movie itself may be PG-13, but Robert Pattinson and co. seem intent on bringing us all to the edge of orgasm during press rounds for the latest Twilight instalment by constantly talking about sexy time stuff. [US]
  • Baby crazies, start your cooing! Hardcore My Fair Lady fan Nikki Taylor shows off her fourth kid (shudder!), son Rex Harrison. [People]
  • Keira Knightley says Pirates Of The Caribbean made her life a living hell, prefers being less famous. [Daily Mail]
  • Only child stars put to work and spoiled brats can say this, but it's almost cute that Dakota Fanning doesn't know how to wash clothes. [People]
  • Mila Kunis, who always seems pretty cool, does the smart thing and tries to get an interviewer drunk. But then put herself at risk of entering TMI territory by deciding to get drunk with him. [US]
  • Sofia Vergara thought she'd have to get a breast reduction to fit in with the Hollywood set, before saying that out loud and realizing how ridiculous she sounded. [US]
  • Whipping his body into shape for American Horror Story, Dylan McDermott says he's he loves the fact he's now a total 'mo magnet. [US]
  • Gary Busey and his terrifying teeth knocked a 57-year-old woman to the ground at an Oklahoma airport recently. [TMZ]
  • Elijah Wood rides on the subway, Al Roker loses his shit. [Evil Beet]
  • Rachel Bilson outs herself as one of the few women on this earth who uses the word "panties", well, "pantyless". [LA Ministry Of Gossip]
  • Self-proclaimed plastic surgery fan Kathy Griffin looks just like most of us in our high school yearbook. Totally awkward. But she still seems like she was cool even back then. [Daily Mail]
  • Real estate porn: the k.d. lang edition. [Radar]