That headline is a tabloid editor's wet dream – a couple notches below a bare-knuckle street-fight between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie outside The Ivy – and as luck would have it, it also came directly from Brad Pitt's very own mouth hole. In an interview with Australia's 60 Minutes, he said that he's a bit over the whole acting schtick and announced plans to chuck it in for a turn behind the camera in three years. Apparently acting has a crazy long notice period. "Getting stories to the plate that might have had a tougher times otherwise," he says. He also added, after typical journalist prodding, that more babies are on the horizon for himself and Ange: "You know, I don't know that we're finished." [E!]

Say what you will about Justin Timberlake, he's a man of his word. Though Mila Kunis's Marine Corps Ball date is happening later this week, JT already honored his by rocking up on the arm of Cpl. Kelsey De Santis over the weekend — making it even cuter by posting about it on his website. "My friends keep saying, ‘Dance-off!' They know about my skills. I honestly don't think he'll be able to keep up with my group of people," she said, before throwing it down to Jessica Biel: "I'm single! I don't know [if a kiss will happen]. I guess that's all up to JT and what his plans are." Who do you think would win in a fight: a marine or bench-press Biel? [NYDN]

Apologies to Kat Von D, but we're going to have to throw our names into the ring when it comes to people sighing and saying, "Well, what did you expect?" after she revealed that scuzz ball Jesse James cheated on her with 19 women. "Today I encountered the 19th girl to add to the list of people Jesse cheated on me with during this last year," she wrote on Facebook yesterday, adding that she's revealing this out of "pure honesty and love." Touché. [Radar]

After Friday's kerfuffle, Sasha Grey says she has no plans to stop promoting literacy – despite the fact she may have had completely unrelated, consensual sex at some stage in her life. "I am an actor. I am an artist. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a partner. I have a past that some people may not agree with, but it does not define who I am," she said in a statement. "I believe in the future of our children, and I will remain an active supporter and participant in education-focused initiatives." Preach. [TMZ]

Playing what could end up being a very dangerous game, Kim Kardashian is suing her former publicist Jonathan Jaxson for saying her marriage is a sham. Making the rather spurious claim that his allegations have ruined her reputation, she's going after him for the tune of $200K for breaking his confidentiality agreement. Which kind of makes it sound like he isn't lying. Who knows? [NYDN]
I know it's pretty rich coming from me and all, but when even Michael Bublé is scoring off of Kim perhaps it's time to give it a rest. Plus, I know being a crooner gives you lots of gansta cred and all but did he really have to call her a bitch? [Page Six]
Speaking of, sister Kendall joined the realm of lucky bitches when she got a $90K Range Rover for her Super Sweet 16th. [US]

Setting her date stamp forward a few decades, Katy Perry looks set to be a total GILF in the video for "The One That Got Away." She also showed why married musicians and actors have the best job by getting free creative licence to put her tongue in Diego Luna. [Billboard]

Following the shit-storm she created by saying she goes on a nine-day liquid diet ahead of Victoria Secret shows and nixes liquids all together in the 12-hours prior, Adriana Lima says it was all a big misunderstanding and that she allows for some coffee, water and cake. She also admits that fasts are ridiculous and can be pretty dangerous: "Those teenagers out there, don't go starving yourself or only drinking liquids. Don't do that please." [People]

  • If I had free and easy access to Justin Theroux's penis I'd never let it out of bed/the broom closet/my sight, so good on Jennifer Aniston for coming up for air, taking her man out for some sessy lingerie shopping at Barneys in New York. Bad on Page Six for suggesting it's because she's so fat she can't squeeze into her old Marabou feather-tipped negligee. [Page Six]
  • What would happen if Robert Pattinson had never been cast in Twilight?! Some other moderately talented actor would attain insane levels of success, we guess. [E!]
  • It's good to see the anti-bully message Lady Gaga preaches has been taken in by her fans, who give Beleibers a run for their crazy money by attacking Adele and making remarks about her weight on Twitter. [Daily Mail]
  • Gaga is also said to be making her 2012 tour pretty spectacular, which may come as a shock as she normally phones it in. [MSN]
  • She is a living legend and The Witches was the shit, so you know you'd better sit up and listen when Anjelica Huston, 60, says America is all kinds of messed up when it comes to age: "They started asking me why I hadn't had a facelift when I was about 30. America's a little sick in that respect." [Sunday Express]
  • Rihanna's brother Rorrey Fenty has released a single and clearly has no problem with nepotism after she Tweets the news to her 9.5million followers. [The Sun]
  • Leonardo DiCaprio used his 37th birthday to raise funds for his eponymous wildlife-protection foundation. Making people pay for drinks and having an auction. Which is pretty cool. [Page Six]
  • Justin Bieber says he is auctioning off his pet snake. Child services give side-eye to headline writers everywhere.. [NYDN]
  • Vanessa Hudgens won a $38,000 payout from a dodgy ex-producer over a year ago and still hasn't seen the cash so she's sicking another judge after him. If he still fails to comply then she's sending Mickey Mouse around with a baseball bat. [TMZ]
  • Michael Jackson's pain med addiction began on the set of the Pepsi commercial, says his manager. [NYDN]
  • Man, Katie Holmes just can't cut a break on the job front, with reviews for the obviously flawed Jack And Jill going for the jugular. [Vulture]
  • Anytime is a good time for a Parks And Recreation recap. [Vulture]
  • Yup, they're still trying to make that Cameron Diaz and Sean Combs thing happen. Or at least alluding to it. [Page Six]
  • Everyone needs a party trick, and Courtney Love pulled out an oldie but a goodie by going topless at a gig in Brazil. [Radar]
  • Madonna looks pretty amazing as she takes Lourdes for a spot of mom-daughter clubbing to find a back-up dancer. [Daily Mail]