In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, Martha Stewart can't control herself around Taylor Lautner, Kathie Lee Gifford has a big mouth, and the most flamboyant wedding planner in all of Beverly Hills returns to TV.
1.) Entertainment 720 presents, "The Best Party Ever"
On Parks & Recreation, Tom and Jean Ralphio's start-up has died; the pair of failed entrepreneurs decide to throw one last bash before they're completely out of cash. It turns out to be an appropriate send-off for their beloved company, as it's the best party Pawnee has ever seen.
2.) Kathie Lee's honest moment
It was an awkward week for Kathie Lee Gifford, professional Friend Of The Kardashians, because of that divorce business. Not only did KLG attended the wedding, but is godmother to the two youngest Kardashians and has been a friend of the family for over 35 years. Yet here she is, spilling secrets on her very own, nationally-broadcast talk show.
3.) Gabby Sidibe partakes in "Hairpiece Theater"
Because this is the kind of thing you do on the Wendy Williams Show, Wendy convinced Gabourey to partake in a reenactment between RHOA's Kim Zolciak and Nene Leakes.
4.) Paula Deen fires back at Anthony Bourdain
Paula Deen will not let go of her feud with Anthony Bourdain, so she invites Bourdain to kiss her "redneck, unwashed, wildebeest anus." Tasty! (Does anyone think that Julie Chen was in on the joke and dressed as The Chenbot?)
5.) Kelly Ripa, the next Bachelorette
Regis Philbin will appear on Live! for only ten more episodes and as such, the show must find Ripa a new cohost. You might have thought it would be done in a more professional way, but why not include the likes of Taye Diggs, Simon Cowell, Chace Crawford, The Situation, and Josh Groban in a fantastical Bachelorette parody?
6.) The Office's new anthem, "Closing Time"
I can only get behind Andy's actions because my American History teacher in the 8th grade was obsessed with this song. I do, however, think silly activities like these make him better boss than Michael Scott.
7.) Kate Gosselin is a zombie
Is her alleged new self-awareness something that can only occur when she's dressed as a zombie with little babies tied throughout her hair? Bonus: Joy Behar's Halloween costume: She went as a hoarder.
8.) Martha Stewart meets Taylor Lautner
During her interview on the Tonight Show this week, Martha repeatedly kept chatting with the Twilight star sitting on the couch next to her. No one can resist those abs. No one.
9.) Ted Danson's TV interview in bed
Apparently because the hosts believe every woman in America wanted to get in bed with Danson, they all slipped on pajamas and hopped into an oversized bed where they spoke about really sexy things, like veganism. Daytime television, folks.
10.) Cupid's Arrow
According to Jimmy Fallon, before Studio 6B at Rockefeller Center was home to late night shows, it housed an 80s dating service called Cupid's Arrow. Does anyone know if Chiz Dippler is still available? I'm just asking for a friend.
Bonus: Kevin Lee is back
Here's a sneak peek of tonight's episode of TLC's Brides Of Beverly Hills. The man who appeared on RHOBH — where he informed Lisa Vanderpump that a Beverly Hills-style dream wedding would cost no less than one million dollars — returns to a bridal shop to criticize the clothes, wear a bejeweled crown, and give away a signed portrait of himself.