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Jennifer Aniston's relationship with Justin Theroux is very troubling for the tabloids because it screws with the tragic role they've constructed for her over the years. Luckily Dinosaurs and Nachos, girlfriend! has a plan:

OMG you guise! I just figured it out!

If Jen is super happy and on her way to the altar, we will need a new perpetually single sad person. And that person is....dun dun DUN....

John Mayer!

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