In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, horny child bride Courtney Stodden makes the talk show rounds, Bristol Palin takes aim at Tyra Banks, and someone on Big Brother pees on live TV.
1.) "Flying on the wings of love together."
Courtney Stodden, the 16-year-old wife of actor Doug Hutchinson, told E! News that she and her husband have "captivated a nation." I don't know about that, but they've certainly captivated me. I love their love.
2.) "He's my college!"
Later in the week, during an appearance on Father Cutie's show on OWN, Courtney reestablished her dedication to clear bra straps.
3.) Bristol Vs. Tyra
Tyra sucks so much that she makes the Palins seem logical.
4.) Live pee pee.
Shortly after this week's live elimination on Big Brother, cameras focused on the house guests for a few moments, when all of a sudden it became very clear that Rachel forgot to turn off her microphone before going to the bathroom, drowning out the other house guests' conversations with her urine.
5.) It's so fucking hot in NYC.
CBS News' Marcia Kramer is so overheated and red that she actually looks like a tapped out thermometer.
6.) Sonja's panties have been found.
7.) "I'm La Toya."
Did you know that La Toya Jackson does not need to associate herself with her brother for attention or money because she's actually very well off? Well, that's what she would have us believe.
8.) Sex is not ruined for retired porn stars.
That's what Billy Bush learned this week after interviewing one of Charlie Sheen's former goddesses.
9.) Butch is back.
10.) Lady with 24-inch fingernails eats crab legs.
And if you think that's gross, then you're just jealous.