Tonight, the cast of the original Teen Mom returns for a third season (watch the trailer here), and according to a review in the New York Post, the focus is no longer on raising babies, but rather on the messy love lives of the mothers. With the tabloids following these girls' every move, we've seen much of their drama play out in real time—like Amber Portwood's legal troubles, custody issues, and her recent suicide attempt—but there are other surprises in store for viewers, mostly revolving around love triangles and breast implants. Weirdly, the writer of the Post's review takes issue with the weight of the men in Portwood's life, referring to baby daddy Gary Shirley as a "fatso" and using the following awkwardly-phrased sentence to illustrate how her new boyfriend isn't as obese: "He doesn't look like he's never met a Big Mac he didn't love." Whatever the case, it's clear that the numbers on the scale are the least of these people's problems.

Gone Babies Gone [NYP]