Whether it was metallic fabric, Swarovski crystals, or paillettes, you could've gone blind from all of the glimmering.

With the amount of shiny things attached to Vivica Mitra, Bobbie Eakes, and Tracey E. Bregman, nobody could ever doubt their commitment to sparkle motion.

As though it weren't tacky enough that Denise Vasi wore a gown covered with sequined lips, she didn't even have the decency to match her own lipstick to it.

Considering that she bedazzled her legs (legazzled?), I like to think that Arianne Zucker's vulva is vajazzled with the Days of Our Lives hourglass.

If someone younger than Kate Linder were trying to do this I'd be all over them, but for reasons I can't even explain, I feel like this getup is age and event appropriate. I mean, can't you see this lady grabbing lunch with Candy Spelling? This entire ensemble just lends itself very well to "rich and bored biddy."

The near perfection of Heather Tom's sleek white gown and studded shoes was ruined by her bracelet.

Here she is, folks. The epitome of soap opera royalty and the absolute essence of "pure glamour": SuLu.

While Kimberly McCullough (left) and Nadia Bjorlin (right) are managing to pull off their plunging necklines, I'm almost as uncomfortable as Rachel Ray's face indicates that she is to see so much of her cleavage.

I was a little disappointed to see Oscar in a bag, because I was under the impression that they were making Muppets with feet now. Dr. Oz is missing those button attachments that are supposed to be used for tuxes. And then Anderson Cooper looks very chic and very confused as to why he's in attendance.

Yikes. Purple pain: Melissa Archer, Adrienne Frantz, Camila Banus.

Not only are Meredith Vieira's Loubtoutin's probably the ugliest I've ever seen, but the seam of her nude hose is showing which is the aesthetic equivalent to nails on a chalkboard.

Shenaz Treasury is wearing a sari-influenced dress, which would normally be pretty — but the colors are just a little too reminiscent of Michaele Salahi's infamous getup. And while I find Molly Burnett's dress kind of a disaster, I can't hate on Judith Chapman's silky, comfy, pants-y muumuu.

Christopher Massey's shiny tux is abhorrent but his brother Kyle looks classy. It's difficult to know if Teller's shoes are an optical illusion to blend with the red carpet of if they're just simply gross. I am completely terrified of the JabbaWockeeZ dance troupe. They elicit the same kind of scary feelings as the masked dancers in the Beaches number "Oh Industry."

Marlee Matlin, Jacqueline MacInnes Wood, Judi Evans all did color very well.

This might show how totally arbitrary I am, but these are my picks for Best Dressed. Fucked-up Bump It aside (or maybe, a little bit because of it) I thought Lauren Koslow looked stunning. As for Peggy McCay, I will always include any muumuu into my top picks. And then I have to hand it to Brittany Allen, who went in a totally different direction than basically every other person at this event. There is not a single sequin or crystal attached her.

Debbi Morgan, Jill Larson, and Vanna White have been Daytime Emmy staples since the 1980s—and evidently, so have their dresses.