Oooh boy: Karl Lagerfeld directed another one of his insane, model-filled Chanel short films. The ones he keeps on making because apparently the Kaiser has nobody in his life to tell him that his films are terrible. Let me be that person, Karl, because this needs saying: you have Michael Bay's sense of pace and structure, Jean-Luc Godard's mundanity, and, um, Jean-Luc Godard's sideline interest in yellowface. But without any explosions or Anna Karina. You are a very talented designer and you say entertaining things in interviews and you made a good documentary subject in Lagerfeld Confidential and I even believe that you have read most of the 10,000 million books that line your home, Karl Lagerfeld, but not everybody gets to be good at everything they try, sorry. This trailer for your latest is interesting only because Freja Beha Erichsen makes out with Anna Mouglalis in it, and even that is kind of a cheap trick. With Kristen McMenamy as an heiress whose batteries badly need replacing.