In this week's assortment of pop culture crap, Rachael Ray shares sine first-date advice, GMA picks on the new guy, Lost's Josh Holloway returns to TV, and Teresa Giudice gives the world's worst interview.
1.) Stephen Colbert, David Letterman, and Katie Couric all share a bathroom
Or at least that's what this highly edited segment from Wednesday's Colbert Report wants us to believe. One question: Can we get someone to show Katie Couric how to brush her teeth like a lady? I hear Countess LuAnn is available...
2.) The Who Wants To Be A Millionaire audience will laugh at anything
But to Meredith Vieira's credit, we would probably been caught off-guard by this contestant's offer to put her finger on Meredith's anus, too.
3.) Rachael Ray has questionable dating advice
You know, it's not the best idea in the world to serve food that still has toothpicks inside of it on a first date. Maybe you're the kind of person who thinks it might be a "cute bonding moment" to save the life of your date. If that's a risk you're willing to take (and I do not condone this behavior!) I just hope you know how to perform CPR.
4.) Amy Poehler's child speaks like Robert De Niro
Yet while telling the story, Amy's impression of her son ended up sounding exactly like Gob Bluth. Well, it's official: the Arnett/Poehler family is the cutest thing ever. Bonus: footage of Amy and Bill Hader's latest animated movie for kids.
5.) Oh, boy: The Real Housewives of Osama Bin Laden
Jimmy Kimmel brought us his imagination of what a Real Housewives series would look like if they focused on all of Osama bin Laden's wives instead. It's not pretty.
6.) There's a new guy on Good Morning America
Yet after watching him from an entire week, all I could remember about him is how the other anchors kept mentioning his good looks. Jealous much? Here's two promos that aired this week, featuring — for whatever reason — cameos from Betty White and Jamie Foxx.
7.) Casey Wilson learns how to be a hipster
We were sad when Saturday Night Live fired Casey Wilson, but now she's landed on a sitcom called Happy Endings, (which I tuned into for the first time this week and actually enjoyed.) In this clip, Wilson's character meets a man at the laundromat — only to discover that he actually dresses like it's laundry day, everyday — and decides to learn the rules of hipsterdom in hopes of making their relationship work.
8.) Dr. Oz wants to know what color your poo is
Remember: every time an American housewife shouts the word "Poop!" on daytime television, an angel gets its wings.
9.) An interview with Teresa Giudice is like pulling teeth
Yes, Teresa, we know that we're supposed to "Watch What Happens" — it's muttered at least ten times per hour on the Bravo network — but that doesn't mean you need to be such a shitty guest. (Don't miss the awkward moment at :59 seconds when KLG brings up a court date that Teresa is unaware of!)
10.) Lost's Sawyer stars in Community's season finale
In part one of the NBC sitcom's season finale, Community went Western in yet another season-ending paintball episode. While this is no replacement for seeing Josh Holloway shirtless once a week when Lost was on the air, it sure kicked Community' hunk-o-meter up a few notches last night — and gave Joel McHale's character quite a complex.
Honorable mention: John Krasinski as a marionette
He says it's something that the cast of The Office began doing when Will Ferrell started on the show, but we prefer to imagine it's his mating ritual with wife Emily Blunt.