Women's Midlife Crises Not Nearly As Fun As Men's

According to a Telegraph trend piece, more and more women are experiencing a midlife crisis period. However, whereas the prototype of a male midlife crisis involves younger girlfriends, big purchases, and perhaps a pierced ear or a spray tan, the kind being ascribed to women seems a lot more responsible, in search of “meaning” and, frankly, boring. Instead of sex with younger partners and spending an amount of money on a car that’s inversely proportionate to the size of their genitals, women are merely freaking out and then getting different jobs or having babies. (Oh, and midlife crises happen to women at a younger age than men—between 35 and 44, according to a recent study—because we get burnt out quicker from societal pressures.)

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with quitting your job to go teach children in Tanzania, like one woman featured in the article. Some would even say it’s noble. But the idea that women supposedly respond to all the hairy bullshit of life by taking on different, or even bigger, responsibilities rather than allowing themselves to be selfish, as with the stereotypical male midlife crisis, really chaps my ass. It’s like every time a portion of a woman’s life is defined, the same old double standards are attached to it.