Silvio Berlusconi says he couldn't possibly have had all the sex prosecutors accuse him of, because he's too old: "Even though I am a little brat ... 33 girls in two months seems like too much even for a 30 year old." Also, his secret girlfriend (apparently Berlusconi is an eighth-grader) wouldn't have stood for it โ€” "she would have ripped my eyes out." As always, leave it to Berlusconi to sound totally obnoxious even when he's defending himself.