Today CBS announced it will no longer require Charlie Sheen's services on Two and a Half Men. The company released this statement: "Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of 'Two and a Half Men' for the remainder of the season." [Access Hollywood]
This afternoon Charlie received a letter noting that he "engaged in dangerously self-destructive conduct and appears to be very ill." Chuckles is planning to sue. [Radar]
Though he's now unemployed, Charlie Tweeted, "I'm looking to hire a winning INTERN with TigerBlood." Applicants aren't required to understand what the hell he's talking about. [AP]
Charlie Sheen's nutty webcasts will be introduced as evidence tomorrow when he and Brooke Mueller go to court to fight over custody of their twins. [Radar]
Charlie plans to say he was just playing a "character in a piece of fiction," when he said he'd cut children's throats in the webcast. [Radar]

Surveillance video of Lindsay Lohan trying on and/or stealing a necklace has been posted online. The clip only proves that the jewelry store is kind of shady. [ET]
Lindsay Lohan emailed Lorne Michaels to says she considers him a mentor and is disappointed that he let Miley Cyrus make fun of her on SNL. Lindsay really needs an intern to field all these "why did you make fun of me?" inquiries. [TMZ]

Shocker: Nicole Kidman's daughter Faith Margaret looks like a normal human baby. [Us]

Emma Watson is taking time off from Brown to focus on acting. She posted on her website today, "I've decided to take a bit of time off to completely finish my work on Harry Potter (the last one comes out this summer) and to focus on my other professional and acting projects. I will still be working towards my degree... it's just going to take me a semester or two longer than I thought. [E!]

  • More trouble for Christina Aguilera: She's being sued for allegedy using samples from the 1968 song "Happy Skippy Moon Strut" by Dave Cortez and the Moon People in "Ain't No Other Man." [E!]
  • Britney Spears and K-Fed both went to their son's baseball game on Sunday, but a source says, "He and Britney didn't come near each other until the end of the game, and even then, they stayed separate and didn't talk." [Us]
  • Mel Gibson is headed to Guatemala for a charity event, so he'l probably be out of the country when he's charged with misdemeanor domestic violence this week. [TMZ]
  • Our long national nightmare may be coming to an end. Glenn Beck's ratings are down and Fox is said to be considering ending his contract in December. [Drudge]
  • Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans was in court today because she allegedly broke her ex Kieffer Delp's iPhone and broke into the home of her former friend Jaelanie Salas. Delp and Salas didn't show up, so the prosecution was granted a continuance. [TMZ]
  • Ke$ha will be handing out LifeStyles condoms with her face plastered on the wrapper at her upcoming concerts. [E!]
  • Giuliana Rancic responded to the mean taunts she's received online about her infertility, saying, "I tried eating a cheeseburger, it didn't work! I took a pregnancy test right after I ate a cheeseburger so sorry everyone who tweeted me that great advice – it didn't work ... It's kind of crazy that there are ignorant people out there. The bottom line is a lot of people have fertility issues. Overweight people, underweight people, healthy people. At the end of the day, unless your doctor tells you, weight doesn't really have anything to do with it." [Radar]