• Today Charlie Sheen called into The Alex Jones Show and launched into an epic rant, in which he called Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre a "turd" and Thomas Jefferson a "pussy." Here are some highlights: Charlie said he doesn't care if his show gets canceled because, "I'll go make movies with superstars and not work with idiots." He called Alcoholics Anonymous a "cult" and a "bunch of losers" who are "brainwashing his family." "[AA] is vintage, it's outdated, it's stupid and it's worshiped by stupid people and it is their fault," he continued. "Step up and change it, change it right now. Look your father in the eye and say, 'You're wrong, I'm different I'm better, watch me, watch me bury you.'" Charlie added, "I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it ... with my mind." [Access Hollywood]
  • Later Charlie told TMZ, "I violently hate Chaim Levine [Chuck Lorre]. He's a stupid, stupid little man and a pussy punk that I'd never want to be like. That's me being polite." [TMZ]
  • Charlie took his ex-wife Brooke Mueller, his girlfriend, and another woman on a vacation to the Bahamas, but yesterday he made Brooke fly home after they had a fight. [Radar]
  • This article claims Charlie is returning to work on Two and a Half Men next week. We'll see about that. [AP]

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  • A police source claims surveillance video shows Lindsay Lohan's friend distracted a store clerk so she could steal the necklace in question. [Radar]
  • When asked to comment on Lindsay's troubles, Tara Reid said, "It's really tough.I've never gotten in trouble like that. I never got arrested. My biggest crime was dancing on a table. So I can't really compare the two. I just wish her good luck." [E!]

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  • Lily Allen responded to Kanye West's Tweet about the dangers of blackmail abortions, "Never has a tweet put me in such a bad mood. This is wrong on so many levels." [E!]
  • Kanye's "All Of The Lights" video has been pulled from YouTube because it gave people seizures. [E!]

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  • Teen Mom's Amber Portwood says she didn't leak those nude pictures of herself and believes her phone was hacked. "I've never given anything to anybody. I wouldn't do that. I know 100 percent who did it, and I'm going to go after them full force," she said, adding, "Those pics were taken for personal reasons. I didn't send them to anyone. I didn't take them for sexual reasons. This is embarrassing enough. It's just weird. The person who did this is f‚ÄĒ-ed." [E!]
  • Amber told MTV, "I'm devastated that these pictures were stolen from my phone and sold by someone I trusted. It makes me sad that anyone would do this, and I'm horrified that something so private is being shared publicly." [Us]

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  • Sharon Stone has obtained a restraining order against a man who was found in her home earlier this month. He claimed the home was given to him by Hillary Clinton. [AP]
  • Kim Kardashian is in talks to play John Gotti's daughter-in-law in an upcoming biopic. John Travola has already been cast as Gotti. [Us]
  • Tonya Harding gave birth to a baby boy on Saturday. [Us]
  • Someone broke into JC Chasez's car yesterday and stole $150 in cash and two pairs of designer sunglasses. The same thing happened to me recently, but thankfully the hoodlum left my loose change and Old Navy sunglasses. [TMZ]
  • Kate Middleton and Prince William made their first public appearance since their engagement at a naming ceremony for a lifeboat in Wales. [CBS News]
  • No one told Ian McKellen that filming of The Hobbit had been delayed, so he showed up in Wellington five weeks early. As he notes, "A wizard is never late." [McKellen.com]