• Earlier this week, Heidi Montag suggested she may be joining Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but Andy Cohen shot the idea down on Watch What Happens Live. "Professionally, I'm not supposed to discuss any negotiations so I have to parse my words here," said Cohen. "That trash is delusional and I would sooner stab ... knives into my own eyes than see her on this network ... But good news, Heidi, you're on my show tonight, because you're the Jackhole of the Week." [People]
  • A "friend" responded on Heidi's behalf, "Andy Cohen has polluted American TV with some of the most inane shows ever. For him to call someone trash shows a complete lack of self-awareness and self control. We understand Andy Cohen is desperate for ratings, but he's acting like a character from one of his shows." [Radar]
  • Looks like Jennifer Aniston's reps got to Heidi. Though she claimed yesterday that Aniston banned her from the Just Go With It premiere, she now says, "It never really made sense to me because Jennifer is such a sweetheart and she even commented before on a red carpet about how interesting and fun it was to have me in the movie ... I got my invite and I would have loved to be there, but I had to be Los Angeles with my dogs." [Us]

  • Lindsay Lohan's lawyer is trying to work out a plea deal that wouldn't involve jail time, despite LiLo's insistence that she's no thief. However, Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers is, "standing her ground and saying that any deal for Lindsay include jail time," says a source. "This is a felony charge, and Lindsay has a criminal record. Meyers won't back down on this. Both sides are now at an impasse." [Radar]
  • Michael Lohan says Lindsay's management team (and certainly not shitty parenting) are to blame for her troubles. "A lot of the controversy in Lindsay's life wouldn't be there if Lou Taylor and Larry Rudolph weren't part of the equation," he said. "They are both one-hit wonders with Britney Spears, and they are not going to do the same to my daughter." [Radar]

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  • A source offers this insight on why Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz split: "It was honestly a classic case of marrying young, having a kid young and growing apart over the years ... When you don't spend a whole lot of time together, things become challenged." [People]
  • Another source claims Ashlee had been "extremely unhappy for a long time" and Pete had no idea. [TMZ]
  • Anonymous insider #3 says, "Pete is in denial that the marriage is over. He seems to think that if he turns on the charm he can sweet talk Ashlee into changing her mind and giving it another go." [Radar]

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  • We have a winner for Most Heinous Story Of The Day! The National Enquirer is reporting that Jessica Simpson's fiance Eric Johnson told her she has to go on a diet. "They've recently had some brutal fights, and finally Eric basically told Jess if she didn't lose weight soon, he was calling the whole thing off," says a probably non-existent insider. [IDLYITW]

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  • Meg Ryan wore a diamond-free gold ring on her finger the other day, so obviously she and John Cougar Mellencamp are engaged. [Radar]
  • Ellen DeGeneres and Kate Middleton are 15th cousins, and Ellen has a message for the royal-to-be: "Let me know if you need me to plan the bachelorette party, because I found some straws that are shaped like. . . well never mind." [Us]
  • Miley Cyrus will guest host SNL on March 5. [AP]
  • Kelsey Grammer and Kayte Walsh were at City Hall in NYC today, but they weren't the ones having a wedding. Kelsey's daughter Spencer, who stars in Greek married James Hesketh. [TMZ]
  • Check out the first cast photo from The Hobbit! [E!]
  • Prepare yourself for Terminator 5; Arnold Schwarzenegger Tweeted last night, "Exciting news. My friends at CAA have been asking me for 7 years when they can take offers seriously. Gave them the green light today." [AP]
  • There's a rumor going around that Levi Johnston's sister Mercede Johnston is posing for Playboy. A source explains, "It's easy money. She always wanted to be a model, but it can be tough to break into the industry. And she's obviously choosing to go the easy route and take her clothes off." [E!]