David Duchovny, Will You Dance With Me?

On Californication, Hank Moody’s father tells him “…life’s too short to dance with fat chicks.” While it’s certainly not an original phrase, it appears that moment of television has spawned a bit of a movement.

This would not have been on my radar at all except I saw it on Twitter last week. A quick Google search showed me that there are websites and blogs dedicated to this concept. I found places where I could buy t-shirts, I can even buy bumper stickers because apparently these people (the bloggers included men and women) are worried that some fat chicks who are driving around will be laboring under the misapprehension that we are somehow worthy of their time.

Now, please read the following carefully because someone will accuse me in the comments of doing everything I’m about to clearly explain that I’m not doing, and I want to feel fully justified when I mock them: I’m aware that these are scripted characters in a show, not real people and I fully accept that. I’m aware that the opinions of the characters may or may not match the opinions of the actual actors and I fully accept that. Clearly, since so many people are resonating with this phrase over three years later, the writers did a good job of reflecting our current culture, this show has a lot of dark themes and I’m not against that. I am not, I. Am. Not, I AM NOT angry at the show for using the line. I’m not, seriously.

I just think that since his character did nothing to refute the statement in the show, and especially now that it’s become so widespread, the real live David Duchovny might like the opportunity to speak out –- with flair. Because obviously this statement is just ridiculous and he might not want to be associated with a cultural meme that tells would-be dance partners that fat women are so sub-human that a dance with us is actually a waste of the limited time they have on Earth.

You see, that’s where it gets a little crazy for me. Not everyone is attracted to fat women and I’m ok with that. But the idea that if we are at a dance, people should skip the opportunity to dance with me because my size inherently makes me a waste of time is just crazy talk, and David Duchovny can prove it.

And what better way to do so than to dance with me… a real live fat chick who is also a professional dancer and a National Champion in partner dancing. It’s going to be awesome! You’ll notice that I do not have a book for sale nor anything to promote – this isn’t a publicity stunt to make a buck. This is an invitation to Mr. Duchovny to come dance with me, thereby speaking out against a cruel, demoralizing meme that he helped create.

But don’t take my word for it Mr. Duchovny, lest you doubt my fat chick dancing prowess I have references and videos (you can find them below).

So if you see him, please let Mr. Duchovny know that his fat chick is waiting for her dance, and that it will be time very well spent. While I’m at it, a friend suggested that the Ellen show might be the perfect venue for our dance. Well, if I’m going to swing, I might as well swing for the fences. Ellen’s show is all about positivity with plenty of dancing sprinkled in and I think that it would be amazing to do this there (in no small part because it would give me a chance to meet one of my heroes!), so if you see Ellen feel free to pass the suggestion along. But rest assured, whenever and wherever Mr. Duchovny is ready to trip the light fantastic, I’ll be there.

So David (can I call you David?) here are my references and videos. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Remember it’s ragen at danceswithfat dot com…

I have danced with Ragen Chastain and I can truthfully say that she is an accomplished and talented dancer. She actually makes me look good. –Bobby Moorman

I highly recommend Ragen Chastain as an excellent follower. Ms. Chastain’s frame is impeccable and she is very light on her feet. She takes change in direction exceptionally well and doesn’t hesitate to add embellishments to enhance the dance experience. Oh, and one more thing…I enjoy dancing with Ragen because she makes me look soooo good. As an amateur dancer, I have much to learn in leading the dance, and it is my pleasure to stand with Ragen . Best regards, Alfredo Cervantes Jr.

After thinking about it for a while I have danced on and off with Ragen for at least a good 6 years. From those many years ago when I first watched her staring at our feet as we line danced and she jumped up and said “I can do this”, which she could, to her full on performing and competing. When I think of when I get to dance with Ragen the first thing I think of as a lead is the word “light.” Let’s just say the girl can twirl! She has this innate sense of balance, knows her center of balance and how to use it as she executes her turns in any pattern I throw at her. I have always jokingly said “Ragen comes with power steering on the dance floor.” She isn’t one of those follows who anticipates what I plan to do. She holds her own and does her part. I get to lead and she most certainly follows. She is always up for a challenging new move and if she thinks she didn’t do it right she is quick to say, “wait, try that again!” I always hope that what I did was intentional and not something I accidentally made up and can’t replicate though! Whether it is swing, two-step, waltz or nightclub, Ragen has always been one of my favorite partners to dance with as she is well versed in all the styles. I love that even when I make a mistake, she makes me look good. She can make me look like a much better dancer than I actually am. I love coming off the floor with her and having someone comment to ME, “wow I didn’t know you were that good!” That statement always strikes me as funny because I make her do all the work. All in all, you can not ask for a more graceful, gracious and talented dance partner.-Don Curran

I have been thrilled to coach and dance with Ragen Chastain for the past 6 years. As a dancer, Ragen, is determined, a great learner, and always has a positive outlook. She is great to coach and dance with, and has certainly dealt with some adversity due to her size and people are often surprised that she can move with such ease and grace. She always takes on any challenge, and tries her best to make anything I throw at her work. Ragen gives me lots of credit for her dancing, but coaching her has also made me look at things from a different angle as well. And it makes me always see that just because a person is of size, they can do anything they are determined to do just as well as anyone else!! Rowdy Dufrene, Professional World Champion Dancer and Coach

Do you prefer a fast dance?

Or a slow dance?

This post originally appeared on Dances With Fat. Republished with permission.