I'm not opposed to spending big money on sex toys, because I can't really think of anything that I value more than my orgasms. For a while now, I've found myself intrigued by companies that shill "high end" vibrators, claiming they are "as pleasing to the eye as to the touch." Now, I don't really give a crap about the way a sex toy looks because I'm not trying to impress anyone with it except my clitoris... and my clit doesn't have eyes. But I was super-excited to get a review sample of one of the fancy vibes — from Swedish company LELO (an acronym for Luxury Erotic Lifestyle Objects) — so I could discover if my opinion of the product would be as high as its price tag. After the jump, my clit and I weigh in.

Pros: The NEA is a cool looking little gadget (and I mean little— it's only about 3" in length). It almost looks like a miniature computer mouse, and it has pretty LCD lights on the two buttons that control the speed. (It doesn't require batteries, as it comes with a charger.) The purr on the vibe is super-quiet and could probably be used without roommates being any the wiser.


Cons: I could not get off with this fucking thing. At. All. The vibe is way too weak. Plus, fast and steady vibration with no variation tends to just numb my area instead of arousing it, leading me to just become frustrated.

Verdict: At $89 (almost twice the price of the incomparable Magic Wand), you'd be better off using your hands.


Earlier: 5 Household Items That Will Help You 'Get Off' Easy

Glove Affair: Testing The Fukuoku Five Finger Vibrator

Sexual Chocolate: Testing The Clone-A-Willy Kit