It wasn't all smiles at the Shrine. Oh, no. There were also snakes, shiny suits, prom dresses... and did we mention the cartoon villains?

Mara New is either the best or the worst-dressed person here. And she may know something the rest of us don't.

There was a plague of grotesquely shiny (and possibly waterproof) suits upon the SAGs. Adam Lambert was far from the only offender, but he shall stand in for the trend as a whole to avoid the tedium - and potential blindness - of showing all of them!

Jeremy Renner's velvet was, blessedly, unique.

Anna Paquin's reptile-print McQueen suggests some kind of end-of-innocence Garden-of-Eden metaphor but, come on, it's just a dress, let's not get carried away here.

Jenna Ushkowitz is veering dangerously close to "prom" territory. And if she gets even closer, well...maybe...someone random on the internet won't like it!

Joan Allen: please explain. Inquiring minds want to know.

Paula Patton: there is no need for red-carpet maternity dowdiness in this day and age! And less need for meringues!

Is it just me, or was Michelle Forbes kinda channeling cartoon villainness?

The stunning Sofia Vergara can almost pull off this unhappy Carolina Herrerra ombre.

Okay, digging that Jennifer Carpenter tried something riskier and more modern with this Paule Ka. However. She looks like she's on the crew of The Love Boat circa 2050. (Which, yes, I will be watching.)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus: love the shape, loathe the Dolce & Gabbana dress.

Deborah Ann Woll falls into the 70s-bridesmaid trap that bedeviled the GG's. (Can a trap bedevil? Work with me.) This is Gustavo Cadile Resort 2010.

Tia Carrere's dress looks like it was tailored by me, drunk.

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