Let's face it: Vogue has a history of crappy covers. It's just as bad inside the issues. Somehow, when ladies land Vogue photoshoots, the resulting images are ghastly and unflattering. Get a load of Jessica Biel, February cover girl:
This is an untouched, red carpet shot of Jessica Biel from last year. Beautiful!
Here's what she looks like in the new issue of Vogue:
Hideous! Yet: Someone actually looked at this and said, "That's gorgeous. Print it!" Everything — the eyebrow, the nose, the teeth — just terrible.
Last month, Vogue did a shoot with Carey Mulligan. Here's Carey in an untouched red carpet snap:
When we saw a picture of Carey posing for Vogue, her cute ensemble got our hopes up. Unfortunately, the outfit didn't make it into the layout, and here's what Carey looked like in the pages of the issue:
Straight-up urchin. Can a girl get some lip gloss?
Frozen, Dickensian street urchin.
Drew Barrymore on Vogue: Waxen, brow-lifted, dead-eyed. Drew Barrymore in real life: Fresh-faced and sparkling! (Also: A note to Vogue retouchers: When you turn your neck, the skin folds. These are not wrinkles that need to be airbrushed away! It's just the way the body works.)
Blake Lively, in a non-airbrushed photo, is a sunny young gal with a nose which ever-so-slightly widens at the tip. On Vogue, Blake Lively is an older woman with a button nose. Okay, maybe not ugly. But not Blake.
Don't even get me started on this one.
The Real Biel [Vogue.com]
[Red carpet images via Getty.]