New year, new wit: It's time to unveil the Comments of the Day.

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Matthew McConaughey Welcomes A Daughter; Tiger's Wife Claims He Gave Her $300 Million: "Dear Hollywood, Stripper with a heart of gold is getting old. Here are some other suggestions; nurse with a needle phobia, barista who used to be a FLDS wife, fashion designer with horrible taste in shoes, or veterinarian who is terrified of birds. You're welcome." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Video Game Producer Jade Raymond Featured in Lucky: "Okay, but what organic, antioxidant rich, wrinkle-fighting moisturizer with alpha and beta hydroxy acids and SPF 20 or higher does she recommend for one's Nintendo thumb?" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Dating Site Kicks Off Members For Gaining Weight: "Oh give me a home/ where no fatties roam/ and the dicks and the douchebags can play..." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Dating Site Kicks Off Members For Gaining Weight: "Where seldom is heard/ an intelligent word/ And the prize is a "beautiful" lay."

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Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.



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