Today in allegedly-empowering-but-actually-annoying research, a survey revealed that more British women wanted to look like Kate Winslet than like Victoria Beckham. And over a quarter of women in another survey said fitting into old jeans would feel better than sex.
In a poll of 2,000 British women commissioned by weight-loss company Slimming World, Kate Winslet came out on top as the star whose figure was "most desired." She got 16% of the vote, closely followed by TV presenter Kelly Brook with 15% and Halle Berry with 12%. Bringing up the rear were Kate Moss, Posh, and Jordan, with 1% each. Says Slimming World head of nutrition Jacquie Lavin,
It shows a positive shift that women are more likely to see Kate Winslet and Kelly Brook as the ideal body shape rather than Kate Moss or Victoria Beckham.
It perhaps suggests that it is not being "skinny" that is most important to them anymore, it is being healthy.
Because nothing's healthier than comparing your body to a celebrity's, especially when the entire exercise is funded by the weight-loss industry. Or than exchanging one restrictive standard of beauty for another. A commenter on the Daily Mail website helpfully adds,
I don't know why this is news all of a sudden. Men have been trying to tell women this for years. I think it's only women who think that skinny is a good look. I can only assume that women who try to keep thin are doing it to compete with other women.
Women, why aren't you listening to what men — and Slimming World — are trying to tell you? Seriously, it's probably true that Kate Winslet's body type is more attainable for many women than Kate Moss's. But this still presumes that the goal should be to "attain" someone else's body. It's now in fashion for outfits like Slimming World to claim they're all about health, rather than skinniness, and Slimming World's website touts "Food Optimising - the no-diet secret of weight loss without hunger!" It's not a diet, it's "Food Optimising," and they don't want you to be too thin, like Posh — just thin enough, like Winslet. No actual plus-size celebrities were included in the list of desired celebrity bodies — but it's not clear whether no women wanted to look like them, or whether Slimming World simply didn't give them that option.
Even more annoying than all this celebrity body business is a survey showing that over a quarter of women think fitting into old jeans would make them feel better than sex. 28.9% said it would feel better than a promotion, and, in a one-two punch of depressing gender stereotypes, one in ten said it would feel better than a marriage proposal. This survey was commissioned by none other than Special K, whose Special K Challenge claims you can "lose up to 6 lbs. in 2 weeks." Company spokesperson Laura Bryant says, "This shows the endorphin rush women get when they achieve their goal of fitting back into that one special pair of jeans." That's right, ladies — the only thing that feels better than a ring on your finger is that old pair of jeans sliding over your ass.
Curves Rule As Kate Winslet And Kelly Brook Top Poll Of Most Desirable Celebrity Bodies [Daily Mail]
The Ultimate Fantasy: My Old Jeans Fit [Daily Mail]
Jordan And Victoria Beckham's Body Shape Are The Least Desired By Women [Mirror]