Unlike some bloggers, we don't get any swag or freebies. And we never leave our apartments. So when word came Down From The Top that we needed a gift guide, we knew our wish-lists would be at least half-fantasy:
Realistic: A new, aesthetically pleasing (read: contemporary and not embarrassing-looking - NO CARPET OR SISAL) cat tree or perch.
Fantasy: A first class ticket to Sydney because flying economy on Qantas for that long in such cramped conditions is inhumane for everyone and should be illegal.
Realistic: A gift card to a bookstore. Always appreciated.
Fantasy: $5,000 Gift Certificate to GameStop (one of my homegirls works there - it will last me years) and a month off from work. OR a free year of natural hairstyling services from Miss Jessies, provided they don't give me that poodle style thing they were doing for a while.
Realistic: New Strangers With Candy complete series DVD, because my friend borrowed a few disks and never returned them.
Fantasy: Tickets to California to retrieve my DVDs (and visit my friend, I suppose.)
Realistic: I'd really like a new record player.
Fantasy: A complete replica of the Imagination Room from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, with wi-fi and a big comfy chair/desk combo set up near the banks of the chocolate river, so I can write in between sessions of eating the scenery.
Realistic: some decent-quality black gloves to replace the ones I left in a cab. I think my mom is actually getting me this.
Fantasy: a Hedi Slimane suit
Realistic: I'm into headbands now and really any hair accessories make me happy. I like the headbands Tarina Tarantino is doing… I also have a crush on some Irregular Choice ankle boots (in red)! Oh, and the Diana F+ camera is something I'd never buy for myself but would LOVE as a gift.
Fantasy: To spend the rest of the winter in Mexico with the boyfriend! Or a personal trainer. Actually, both. The personal trainer can come with us.
Realistic: A miniature meyer lemon tree, thick wool tights (preferably in bright red, but I haven't found any that fit this description) and the book "The Haunting of America: from Salem Witch Trials to Harry Houdini."
Fantasy: To find an apartment in Boston that is cheap, but still has hardwood floors, a decent sized kitchen, and lots of windows. Also, a fireplace would be very nice. As would a puppy.
Realistic: I love good caramels, and crave a batch from the Trappistine Monastery, which are the most delicious and keep the order self-supporting. Also, a membership to either the Center for Fiction, since my local library has a lousy selection, or the Film Forum, to get my revival kicks.
Fantasy: Besides a karaoke machine that has both the Pastels' "Nothing to be Done" and "Sometimes Always" on it? The Goodybe Babylon box set, or the complete New York Review of Books classics collection - even though I own some of them already, and there's something a little "books-by-the-yard" about it, and I have no room, and it's incredibly expensive, and I have a niggling suspicion that some classics are "forgotten" and "minor" for a reason.
Reality:Really delicious cookies and a scarf from my mum.
Fantasy: Jeans that are tight but not restrictive, closer to a straight-legged cut than "skinny," don't come in an embarrassing pre-weathered wash, have absolutely no stupid non-functional embroidery, give me neither a wedgie nor camel toe, are neither too low- or high-waisted, and have NO Lycra. And cost less than $100 at Loehmann's. I don't think these exist. Also I would like an office chair i could sit in comfortably for hours a day that also doesn't look like some piece of aeronautical equipment or get advertised so relentlessly on NPR that I start to feel like a someone with a tote bag collection, on the inside, but i don't think such a thing exists. Maybe the Herman Miller Aeron Chair!