January Glamour offers lots of tips for surviving til 2011, which readers will really appreciate — if they're complete boneheads.

Glamour's Stupids-worthy hints include not driving while reading the newspaper (or brushing your teeth), and not putting popcorn inside your vagina. According to the ever-obvious "dos and don'ts" section, you should also not expose your buttcheeks to public view. And woe betide the woman who tries to be "perfect" — she might end up falling down the stairs and breaking her daughter's leg, like Morning Joe co-host Mika Brzezinski. Using Brezinski's accident as a cautionary tale about "doing too much too soon" seems like a stretch, but if editors couldn't generalize individual women's experiences into prescriptive "tips for all women, ladymags wouldn't exist — and neither would Cover Lies.