Let's sing the praises of two pet catalogs — Doctors Fosters & Smith and Fetchdog: Jingle bells, my cat smells, my dog is not too bright… Oh what fun it is to shop for pet products tonight!

So, we're starting with Fetchdog first. While these bedding products are not specifically holiday-themed, they can't be overlooked. On the one hand: Isn't it weird to offer your dog fur to lie on — even if it's faux? On the other hand: Think of the sense of accomplishment that Pomeranian must be feeling — he's conquered a gigantic jaguar.

When they talk about your dog's "inner jungle animal," do they mean jungle like the music? Is this Pug headed to a nü rave?

Aw, the chew toy shaped like a peppermint is really cute. As are the gingerbread men.

(Click "full size" to enlarge)

Let's face it: The item called a "Starstruck Party Collar" is really a jester outfit. Your dog is a joke! It's his job to keep you entertained. As for the Weimaraner in antlers, his expression is: "Please. I'm begging you. Take them off."

Of all these items, the velvet bell collar seems the least offensive; the fact that the Santa Hat comes with a scarf boggles the mind. The "reindog bandana" is just dumb. That Vizsla agrees. And would like a treat.

I'll admit that I like the Ho Ho Fleece Hoodie. Are you guys going to start hounding me? I'm afraid to incur your wrath. Let's move on.

The awesome thing about the Doctors Fosters & Smith catalog cover is how the photograph solidifies all the stereotypes about cats and dogs. Cats are savvy opportunists; dogs are lazy good-for-nothings who sleep when there's work to be done.

The reindeer costume doesn't work, but the Santa Suit is kind of brilliant. That Boston Terrier looks quite sharp, what with the matching socks.

I eat meat and buy sometimes buy leather, but knowing that rawhide chews are made from cowskin, seeing all of it together like this makes me queasy. And that "bone" is too big. TOO BIG.

Puggle says: "She's a bitch. No, really. An actual bitch."

WHY does that Elf Hat have brown pointed ears?!?!?! Wait. I don't want to know.

"Just For Cats" ought to read "Just For Krazy Kat Ladies Who Like To Advertise Their Love Of Cats."

You know this look. This is the look of a fierce feline contemplating scratching some idiot human's eyes out. Ideally the fool who adorned him in a Collar Ruff. But anyone will do.

Fake colors make rawhides cuter.

Another put-upon puss plots revenge.

Fetchdog [Official Site]
Doctors Fosters & Smith [Official Site]

Doctors Foster & Smith: The Crazy Cat Lady Catalog

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