You want pageantry? You want SEXXXY? At the Victoria's Secret fashion show, you'll get it, along with a touch of Lil' Abner, a jot of Xanadu, and a whole lotta weird - whether you want it or not.

"Mother Nature, she is very sexy, yes?"

"Have you ever heard the expression "kissed by a muse"? Well, that's what I am. I'm a muse."

"Woo-hoo! Col-lege! Yay! Higher Education! Studying stuff rules!"

"This way to Macbeth auditions?"

"Surprise! I'm not really a butterfly, it was a costume! It was me all along! Are you surprised?"

"I'm an allegory for the gold standard. Crossed with a gentleman beetle. Obviously."

Wait, was I not supposed to really cut myself in half? Oh."

Wanna go to the Dog-patch Sadie Hawkins Day dance?

"Seriously? You're sure this is what real elves wear?"

"Bring me my platinum-encrusted dog, a martini straight-up and my house-boy. Now."

"Um, my balloon popped. Could you help me blow it up?"

[Images via Getty]