Part one of the Project Runway finale was sooooo painful to watch. Just tell us the winner already!
Those of us who are — or used to be — fans feel like we are being tortured as producers drag this shit out as long as possible. All of this happened so long ago, the fashion show pictures went up online in February, and it feels like this whole thing has taken FOREVER. Since there were three finalists instead of four, they could have condensed the finale into ONE show, but no, they are forcing us (ME) to watch two sloooow-ass episodes of this crap. Gah.
So, Tim Gunn went to visit each designer as she worked on her collection. Carol Hannah — living on Long Island — was first; she'd been inspired by the architecture of Duke University. Tim's "Can I be blunt?" was much-needed.
Tim saying, "I love a kitchen" made me realize that the reason I'm obsessed with him is because Snagglepuss was my favorite cartoon when I was a kid. Alright already. Heavens to Mergatroid. Exit. Stage left.
Tim Gunn in an apron!
Tim visited Irina in Manhattan next, and her floofy, snippy dog Princess basically snubbed him. How dare you snub Tim Gunn?!?! Something is not right in this house.
When I saw this, even though I was watching TV by myself, I said out loud: "Are you kidding me? Project Runway is NOT ABOUT screenprinted T-shirts!" I wrote in the notes I was keeping: "WTF."
Do you think the fact that her parents gave their little princess "free rein" is maybe why Irina is so bitchy? Or do you think it's because her mother tells her she "has" to win it and she has "no choice."
Tim visited Althea in Ohio next, and we learned a lesson: People in sci-fi movies wear handknit sweaters.
Also, when Tim critiqued Althea's Edwardian wild west coat, Althea couldn't stop saying, "Yeah. Yeah." Even as Tim was saying, "This can't walk down that Bryant Park runway."
The only mildly dramatic moment was when Irina was informed that she could not use the Coney Island images since she did not create them. Duh. Also: Go away.
My favorite part about Nina and Michael visiting the designers was Carol Hannah saying, "I did not expect them to be here." Of course not! They have been missing all season. They don't even really recognize you guys.
My second favorite part about the Nina/MK visit was Irina initially saying, "Advice is always great." And then later, deciding to ignore Nina's extremely specific advice just for Irina.
The "surprise" was a surprise to absolutely NO ONE. Of course the designers had to make another look — it happens every season.
It was also not a surprise to see these kids, because former contestants always return. It was a surprise that Althea picked Logan, stealing sick-to-her-stomach Carol Hannah's man right from under her nose.
So even though Lifetime is, for some reason, making us wait another week to see the runway shows, the pictures have been up on line for months. if you're interested, you can see all the final collections here. Otherwise? See you next week for more of this bullshit, and we can finally say goodbye to the worst season ever.