Thoroughly impressed by Thursday:
Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Rihanna Who?": "Have you seen my girlfriend's butt? Life and Style told me she lost it." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Odl Lay Hee: Julie Andrews Might Sing Again: " So happy for Julie. Perhaps she had a miserable last ten years, but somewhere in her youth or childhood, she must have done something goooood." • Best Comment of The Day, in response to Marie Claire: Bling On Your Pants, Swank In A Lake: "The girly-girl bone is connected to the... panties. The panties are connected to the... ponytail. The ponytail is connected to the... *headdesk*." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "This Is So The Issue Right Now": "Please, someone tell me how to feed, discipline, and educate my child! I feel like there aren't enough opinions out there, and possibly not enough judgment. We need more articles, books, and blogs out there for us parents who want to feel like we are doing a shitty job with our kids. " You say: "Never fear, I have a handy list gleaned from years of being on the internet!
1.) Never spank! It makes your kid dumb.
2.) Never yell. It traumatizes kids.
3.) Don't breastfeed, it's obscene.
4.) Don't bottlefeed, it's not as good for your baby.
5.) Feed your child only organic vegetables and no meat.
6.) Make sure to stay at home with your child (if you're a woman).
7.) Make sure to go to work so you don't give your child a bad role model (if you're a woman).
8.) If your child ever watches TV, their brain will turn into mush.
9.) Give your child lots of creative play opportunities!
10.) NEVER let your child become disruptive!
11.) Let your child express themselves freely!
12.) Home school your child because Public School is a cesspool of mediocrity.
13.) Public school your children because home school kids are unsocialized.
14.) Devote every waking hour to being with your child so they feel loved.
15.) Remember to never let the spark go out of your relationship!
I hope you found the list helpful."
Worst Comments Of The Day: EVERY SINGLE ONE which mentioned Nicole Kidman's hair in response to this post. Not the point.
Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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