Now that's what we call a gala: American Ballet Theatre's 2009 Fall varietal at New York's Lincoln Center; gorgeous gowns; Iman; Natalie Portman; Mila Kunis; Emmy Rossum...and, wait, is that Adam Duritz?

Man, does anyone do pure glam like Iman? (That's not rhetorical. The answer is no.)

Although Susan Fales-Hill is not half-stepping either, as a lame, sleazy dude said to me once after complimenting my friend.

What is it that renders Emmy's bodice detailing somewhat...mature?

Oh, and you have to see the side-view, when she goes totally ethereal Aphrodite. Somewhat ridiculous, but when you've done that "Music of the Night" Victoria's Secret scene at such a tender age, your threshold is probably permanently altered. (And what does Duritz make of it, btw?)

I am on record in my affection for the public persona of JoAnna Garcia (since, you know, I don't actually know her.) And while I'm still getting used to platform-and-gown-not-in-a-drag-show, she's working it.

I once saw this quote where Rufus Wainwright said "I have a body that looks really good in clothes," which, while it was one of the most ludicrous things I'd seen prior to seeing Jorn Weisbrodt's cravat, is also indubitably true.

Presented without comment.

Y'know, Natalie and Mila would look impeccably cute all alone - the coordinating perfection just takes it over the top. And did they plan this? Because there are literally no photographs where they're not huddling together like this.

Aww, I hate it when "guests" are not identified, especially when they sport such riveting jewelry!

Remember that IMAX film Blue Planet? Yeah, so does Veronica Webb. Ah, those halcyon, post-March-of-the-Penguins years when we thought people would line up forever to watch nature films...

See, what is the fur adding to this beyond a recoil factor? Not warmth, surely - her arms are still bare! I don't understand, unnamed guest!

Yeah, you know what I think of when I hear "American Ballet Theatre Gala?" Adam Duritz. Rage on. Guy's only doing it for some doll, some doll.

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