Two political rallies took place in the United States today: the "Tea Party Express" rally, complete with typically idiotic signs, and a health care rally held by President Obama in Minnesota. Ahead, we take a glimpse at both.

"This is not about politics," President Obama told the crowd at Minneapolis' Target Center, "This is about people's lives. This is about America's future."

Meanwhile, this crowd sought to inform us all what was and was not truly "American." Apparently missing the fundamentals of the Constitution counts.

"I don't know if any of you caught it on television," Obama quipped, "but the other night I gave a speech to Congress about health care. I can already see that this crowd's a lot more fun."

Ridiculous: When You Completely Block Out The Years 2000-2008. LOLZ!

"Well the time for bickering is over. The time for games has passed. Now is the season for action. Now is the time to deliver on health care."

Yes, Obama is a "spoiled brat," unlike, say, George W. Bush. And I hope the ghost of Abigail Adams haunts this woman forever for daring to put her face on a poster.

"Know this: I will not waste time with those who have made the calculation that it's better politics to kill this plan than improve it. I will not stand by while the special interests use the same old tactics to keep things exactly the way they are. If you misrepresent what's in the plan, we will call you out. And I will not accept the status quo as a solution. Not this time. Not now."

"Let your heart feel for the afflictions and distress of everyone, and let your hand give in proportion to your purse."- George Washington. See? I can do that, too!

"I never said that change would be easy. Change is hard. It always has been. And ever since I was a community organizer on the South Side of Chicago, I have always believed that change doesn't start in Washington, DC. It begins in places like Minneapolis. It begins in places like St. Paul. It begins with people who have the courage to share their stories and then fight for something better. It begins with you."

"Get out of my White House, anyone who isn't a white person!"

"This is about America's future, and whether we will be able to look back years from now and say that this was the moment when we met our responsibilities to our children. This was the moment when we met history's test. And this was the moment when the United States of America renewed our capacity to do great things. Thank you, God Bless You, and may God Bless America."

Text Of Obama's Remarks At Today's Minneapolis Healthcare Rally [LATimes]