Eyes up! It's the only way you'll make it through the Opening Ceremony and Baaria Red Carpet of the 66th Venice Film Festival at the Sala Grande without feeling like a total Russ Meyer-style perv.

Maria Grazia Cucinotta is really wearing one of the breast best colors for a gown. Yes, the color is the most striking thing about her ensemble.

Eva Mendes pulls off this profusion of leopard. A bit confused by the rock headpiece.

One thing I love about Vogue Italia editor Franca Sozzani (with Alain Elkann) - besides her mermaid hair - is that she's always smiling.

Does actress Nicole Grimaudo pull off Studio 54 Schoolgirl?

Svetlana Hodchenkova looks like a (wicked) fairy princess. And it dips in the back. Gorgeous!

Carla Fendi seems to have dressed around her Fendi. This is, as a rule, a very tricky

Afef Jnifen's gown suffers from "beaded caterpillar syndrome." It also suffers from Rami syndrome, in which you can tell how much work went into something, but still don't like it.

I'd comment on Patrizia Pellegrino's Vegas costume, but I'm too busy keeping my eyes fixed on her face. Where does "cleavage" end and just..."breasts" start?

I get what Laura Chiatti's doing here - but also, that it's objectively unflattering.

Sandrine Bonnaire has also been attacked: by a sequin snake!

Margareth Made has the right idea: get in as much white as possible before Monday! And she does look bridal-perfect...

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