If you're were hoping the Melrose Place premiere would be cheesy, goofy and full of former residents, then your wish is granted: CW & AT&T's party - on, obvs, Melrose Place - was a total electric-guitar -blast from the past.

Josie Bissett, the erstwhile crop-topped Jane Mancini, is really having a good time at this event.

Will Erik Fellows be a resident of Melrose Place? He has the jacket of a Jake-style bad-boy-softie, but the sensitive jeans of an artistic Billy.

Kelly Carlson: Ricky's called, it wants its discount Marilyn costume back.

Here's something I want to ask Jenna Dewan and everyone else who's been squeezed into a compression dress: how do you go to the bathroom?

I worry that, Bettie Page-style, Jessica Lucas was tricked into inadvertently sporting campy bondage-wear by some kind of modern-day Bunny Yeager.

Okay, so I love the kind of neckline Laura (Sydney) Leighton's sporting, but it really needs to fit like a glove in order to achieve its destiny, yes?

Daphne Zuniga's dress actually looks like something Jo could have worn in the mid-90s. Make of this what you will.

I guess as a member of 90210 2.0, Jessica Stroup feels a natural solidarity with the residents of the Place. Is it a mark of shame, or a feeling of pride?

Is the print on Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's dress A)animal B)mineral C)ugly?

I guess if, like Stephanie Jacobsen, you're determined to make the most ludicrous sexyface ever, this is the place for it.

Katie Cassidy has, at least, gotten into the spirit of the show: the spirit that makes it not only okay but necessary to wear 3" skirts to the office.

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