The September issue of Elle Decor goes where many women have gone before: John Mayer's bedroom. What does it look like where the magic happens?

The man who's supposedly dated Vanessa Carlton, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly, Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston called on Giorgio Armani to design his SoHo apartment. "After I finally figured out how to behave, and how to dress, I wanted to get the next thing — my apartment — right," he tells Elle Decor. Mayer wore an Armani suit to the Grammys and it blew his mind or something. "For the first time in my life, I understood what healthy messaging was all about." Armani's translation: Shades of gray.
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"I make fantastic fajitas after a late night out," Mayer says. "I can rock a skillet." We've heard that both Jen Aniston and Jess Simpson like Mexican food, so maybe they perched at this very counter, watching John whip up some culinary delights?
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Here's the master bedroom, with what the magazine describes as a "low, shapely Botticelli bed framed in gleaming lacquer and set against walls the color of candlelight." Translation: Zen, with a side of meh. Other than the bed being GIGANTIC, it doesn't really seem like a snare lair. How come the room is not strewn with the underthings of starlets? Where's the "Jessica wuz here" graffiti? In Touch said he keeps a guitar by the bed, for spontaneous serenades! Oh well. At least we know what his sex faces look like.

Seriously, the polka dot guitar is the most exciting thing in his apartment.

Earlier: Jessica Stam Does Elle Decor: A 22-Year-Old Should Not Live Like This