The Cinema Society & Hugo Boss screening of Inglourious Basterds in NYC was star-studded, full of win, and had a gratifying dollop of awful. In short, it's a good one, kids. And supersized!

Look, Jamie Lee Kirchner is within her rights to drag this vinyl leggings trend out to its bitter, painful, inevitable end. I mean, I get it: comfortable and beautiful! But in hundred degree weather? That's commitment.

Emmanuelle Chriqui: I can see your knish through your fly. That is all.

Seriously, I'm working on my aversion to purple, I really am. Would I like Kiera Chaplin's dress if I didn't hate the color? Tell me! Be my eyes!

And I'm already lovin' social Fabiola Beracasa's Park Avenue eccentric: how much more would I love it if I didn't see "Duncan-dancing -wizard" every time I saw aubergine?

Jennifer Esposito's looking seriously busy here. Not in the
"industrious" sense, although I'm sure she has a wonderful work ethic.

Whereas I love Alexa Chung's iteration: it's like asking your bridesmaids to just dress in the same color palette, except one has amazing style and the other finds the whole thing an ordeal and just goes into a store blindly and asks tremulously, "do you have anything in...teal?"

Melanie Laurent channels Mad Men. If Mad Men were costumed by Tim Burton. At which point Johnny Depp would show up and his character would have some random quirk he'd decided on - like he'd always be sucking on an enormous lollipop or crocheting.

Really, Agyness Deyn? Ironic Rocky Horror? Because I feel like we were doing that in middle school, both earnestly and ironically, regardless of whether we were into RHPS. And even then I sensed that we were on very, very thin ice.

Kinda dig Gina Gershon's earthy accessories with an LBD - but the whole thing is rendered a bit odd by said accessories' inevitable "matchy" quality.

If you said had "enormous chain suitable for use by one of those giant Playmobils," I wouldn't cotton to it. And yet, Rachel Roy kinda makes it work!

I think anything that makes you look like you might be heading back from a luude-heavy swinger's weekend the Esalen Institute on Route 1 circa '76, like everything Frederique Van Der Wall is wearing, is kind of a good idea.

In other news, Padma Lakshmi looks stunning. Moving on.

I love Melissa George's frock. In fact, I love anything you can describe as "dowdy" plus "positive adjective." Let's go with "glam."

You know I love me some Emma Roberts, but don't tell me the super-low jean is coming. Because I was at my parents' house and I found an old pair form circa '03 and those bad boys had, like, a 1" zipper, and obviously I'm fresh out of low-rise undies nowadays and I remembered why no one sat down for three years.

One nice thing about Julia Stiles: when you see her IRL - like on the street, I don't hang out with her - she looks like a real person. No furtive glances or baseball-cap-and-sunglasses-indoors-don't-look-at-me-why-aren't-you-looking-at-me?! shenanigans. I mean, an attractive person and everything, that's not code, but...normal.

Y'know, I can live with alien chic. Whatever. Do it, Michelle Monaghan. But this sandal trend is exactly like the orthopedics my grandmother wears, and not cool orthopedics, either.

Yes, Diane Kruger's boxy number's chic as all git-out. But the shoes? Look like security anklets.

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