Wondering what to expect from the premiere of a movie acted by talking guinea pigs? All I'll say is, the outfits at G-Force's El Capitan Theatre opening? They kinda made sense, considering.

It seems like every summer the mags declare that white jeans like Eva LaRue's are either "back" or a "summer classic" and that they're "surprisingly wearable." None of these things ever gives any indication of being remotely true.

It's kind of like Brenda Song was on some kind of game show, where she had to make an outfit from a thrift store in fifteen minutes. In which case this would maybe win a Huffy dirt bike or something.

Niecy Nash demonstrates the evolution of the bandage dress.

I have concerns about Shea Fisher's underpinnings.

I think what's bothering me about Kelli Garner's getup is the rose on the blouse echoed by the belt buckle - a lot of fussiness.

Okay, Debby Ryan is only 16, and clearly styled her own outfit, and the truth is, I'd rather a teen was somewhat...overzealous than all slick and sexy and adult.

Let's talk about strategically-placed panels of lace and crochet like Gena Lee Nolin's. Or, you know what? Let's not and say we did.

A few years ago, Ming-Na Wen's free-flowing frock would have been called "boho." On eBay it would be called "boho hippie retro vintage cool!!!" Her sandals, in any language, would be called "comfortable-looking."

Leslie Bibb looks great. Do not try this at home.

Chloe Grace Moretz is, unquestionably, Best-Dressed of the night! Bonus points for cheering me up on a Monday morning.

Jennifer Stone's oddly geometric shoe soles remind me of those elaborate stilt shoes Medieval ladies wore to avoid stepping in...anything.

[Images via Getty]