Romance novels are known for heaving bosoms, but these photos from People's "Hottest Bachelors" feature of Bret Michaels and Brody Jenner posed like they're on the cover of a romance novel just made us want to heave.

There's no sign of a bandana under that tri-cornered hat, but we still have no desire to be one of the wenches on Bret Michaels' Rock of Love Pirate Ship.

Apparently Brody Jenner has set sail as well. Our fantasy: that he and Bret will strike up a bromance and spare the womenfolk on board.

There's really nothing wrong with this photo of NFL player Will Demps, but we can't stop thinking about Bret and Brody, and it's hard to see through the tears.

It's cool that the editors decided Lance Bass being gay doesn't disqualify him from being a one of the "Hottest Bachelors," but his pose clearly says, "sorry ladies, can not have!" We've never seen a man pulling away from a woman on the cover of a romance novel, but if female readers are snatching up novels about gay male romance, why not have a genre devoted to women lusting after homosexual former boy band members?

Earlier: What Women Want: Gay Male Sex