Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen , starring Megan Fox and Shia LeBeouf, premiered last night at L.A.'s Mann Village Theatre. Luckily, L.A. friends like Kim, Aubrey, Kristen and Vanessa dressed for the inevitable verbal incontinence of the film's stars.

Imagine if Megan Fox were just another lovely starlet? What would we think looking at her Angelina-esque getup? As it is, we think "fartssexybadasshatewomenklutzguy'sgirlsexyawesome."

And Shia! Would we see a guy in a dapper gray suit, instead of "momsmallpenisbadinbeddrunkdrivingverballyincontinent."

LBD: Kim Kardashian takes the words "little black dress" very literally. Except, maybe, the "dress" part.

Hills Are Alive: Kristen Cavalleri has big, tight-dress shoes to fill. How's she doing? (Note to self: buy self-tanner. A subtle one. )

True Beauty: Vanessa Minnillo has set herself up as an authority on inner and outer beauty, which makes me more comfortable declaring that her dress is boring and Cache-tacky.

The Outsider: What is Isabel Lucas' dainty, understated frock doing in such company?

Drapery I: Brenda Song understands "Transformer" to mean, bed linens to daywear! (And yes, it's pretty.)

Drapery II: Aubrey O'Day got the same memo.

Hello, Dolly! It's like Erin Naas' skirt is opening triumphantly to reveal the spectacle of her impeccably matched shoes! Given the dress, you may decide whether you consider "impeccable matching" a virtue.

Images via Getty