Who spends $4600 in excess baggage fees and $2,000 on dry cleaning — to get the moldy cheese and liver treat crumbs out of their pockets? A dog-handler. Poodle groomers have odd lives too:

Kaz Hosaka spent six hours prepping miniature poodle Champion Surrey Sweet Spice before entering the ring; the New York Times says Hosaka is "an artist who tends his poodles' poufs as if they were bonsai trees from his native Japan." Think about the wacky excess as you check out the latest images from the Westminster Dog Show:

"I can has economic stimulus package?"

"So I says to her, I says, Ethel. If you don't get yourself a box you ain't gonna be able to watch Ellen. Somethin' about digital teevee. She doesn't get it, though, you know?"

"If my lo mein doesn't get here in 30 seconds I am going to have to cut a bitch."

"Cleans up messes quicker than a Swiffer."

"Do I have broccoli in my teeth?"

"Dude, does this thing go any faster? I saw a hot little Yorkie over by the snack bar."

Insert your own "No Woman No Cry" joke here.

Awwwwwwwww, who's a good boy?

"It's not you… It's me. I can't do this anymore."

Message received, loud and clear.

"Is that sirloin? That doesn't smell like sirloin. I'm not even going to bother if that's not sirloin."

El oh el.

The best "Bish, plz," ever.

"I just want to be like, a champagne blonde? Like a honey blonde. Not a frosty blonde. Too trashy. A classy blonde, like one of those Real Housewives."

"Worried about my performance? No… what makes you think so? Do I look worried?"

"We're just sick of spending so much on Pantene Pro-V." "You can't underestimate the importance of a good conditioner."

"Friends, it's a dog eat dog world."

"I know. I'm funny, but looks aren't everything. I've heard 'em all before."

One of the Best of the Dog-Handling Breed [WSJ]
The Poodle Can't Talk Now; She's in With Her Stylist [NY Times]
Earlier: Day 1 Of The Westminster Dog Show