The Onion has the scoop on the new castmate on The View, chosen for her fresh new take on the day's issues. It's a 900-pound squid. "'After the squid's years spent dwelling on the ocean floor, I think viewers will be interested to hear its take on the hustle and bustle lifestyle of New York City,' said ABC programming director Cyndi DeHart. 'And personally, I can't wait to see how the squid interacts with Whoopi. Watch out!'" Viewers are responding well to the squid's presence. "'I like the squid,' said Chicago resident Anna Herskowitz, 46. 'I really relate to it. More than I relate to Elisabeth Hasselbeck, anyway.'" [The Onion]