• Remember that whole "John Edwards doesn't want to be VP, he just wants to be attorney general" meme? Because attorney generals get to screw around on their wives, obviously. But it is a slow news month, or it was until they arrested Batman, so sometimes they don't. [National Enquirer]
  • Wachovia is my bank ever since I joined this company that doesn't pay people in checks so I had to find an old bank account to dig out of overdraft Hades, and there is this beautiful woman named Emery who works there and is always in a really good mood. Probably because there is no one else ever there. (Also: free cookies.) Emery, if you are reading this, just know I gave wayyy more than my share of overdraft fees to keep your company afloat. [AP]
  • Everything else about the economy also sucks, except the stock market. [WSJ]
  • Did you know even a diet solely comprising pureed pears and breast milk can cause heartburn? Brought to you by the makers of Prilosec. [WSJ]
  • And what that means is that kids today: now even more worthless! [WSJ]
  • Um, ha. [Vanity Fair]
  • The McCain campaign may be kind of dirty and hacky with all the attacks on Obama's patriotism and shit but this video is seriously some next-level satire. [NY Mag]
  • Obama is actually kind of popular with the Jews. [Huff Post]
  • But that is not why Jesse Jackson wants to reenact Obama's circumcision! No, according to Shelby Steele that is just a matter of Jesse Jackson's heroism and principle and, you know, who am I to accuse Shelby Steele of being disingenuous when I am just another vapid interminably coolhunting principle-free twentysomething hipster who is totally ungrateful for all the suffering that happened back in the sixties so my generation could have these fabulous carefree lives. [WSJ]