Okay, so. Onto what one commenter yesterday called the "elephant in the room." For those who don't know, over a week ago, two of our most provocative colleagues, Moe and Tracie, appeared onstage in downtown Manhattan for an evening of "catharsis and hilarity" at the invitation of a comedy/political writer. I've been trying to figure out what exactly went on for days now - well mostly, I've been taking the time to try and figure how I feel about what went on - and the only thing I keep coming back to is that everyone involved disappointed, made mistakes and presented themselves at less than their best. It was a tough situation that has made a lot of people unhappy and frustrated...including me.

And it wasn't representative of Jezebel. I like to think that this site is a place where women (editors and readers alike) are able to agree to disagree and certainly, messages get lost in translation, but the whole event turned out to be one big mess of failed jokes, disturbing intimations, absurd judgments and self-righteous victim-blaming...by most everyone involved.

I went through a range of emotions watching the video: amusement, annoyance, disbelief, empathy, and disgust. I can't apologize for anyone else or explain the reasons and nuances behind the choices they made and the roads they went down - they can do that on their own time and on their own blogs - but I can say that I understand the anger and disappointment among some of our readers, and am frustrated by the wasted opportunity.

These three women had the chance to have a fun, spirited discussion - or a serious talk; it remains unclear what the event was "supposed" to be - about issues like pop culture, politics, lifestyle choices, what it means to be a woman and/or a feminist, and the intersection of personal and professional responsibility. That chance was squandered. Some blame the format, or the participants, or generational differences, or alcohol, or the provocative subject matter, or unrealistic expectations, inarticulateness and lack of preparedness. I believe that everyone, however, can agree that the whole thing was a fucking shame.

Comments? Weigh in below...with the empathy, measuredness and generosity of spirit that was sorely lacking both during and after the event. Questions? Feel free to email.


Earlier: The Girl's Guide To Commenting On Jezebel

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