Hola! Friends, you know how I dig my Spanish fashionistas, the sultriest, chicest dames on the planet. This being a fashion event - the Vogue 10th Anniversary Party in Madrid - the looks were predictably avant-garde...to the extent that some of my picks are - how do you say? - controversial. Well, lame-duck's prerogative, kids! I daresay George W. Bush, too, is a sucker for a Mexican-inflected jumpsuit. Jade Jagger, Claudia Schiffer, Laetitia Casta, Paz Vega and more...after the jump.

The Good:

Actress Paz Vega, working what eBay would surely term a "boho retro emo mod" 70s-referencing-dozen-yards-of-awesome.

Don't know actress Clara Lago's work, but she's a vision in raspberry.

You can't imagine how much I want this ensemble- not that I could rival the awesome evilness of Laura Ponte's expression.

When I wrote a paper on color symbolism in The Great Gatsby my sophomore year of high school, yellow stood for moral turpitude or something. But Paulina Rubio looks stunning.

I am not, understand, a muumuu apologist. Just yesterday a hipster in a boutique in Brooklyn tried to sell me one that my boyfriend described as a "Fauvist nightmare" and I said , "No!" But Laetitia Casta looks positively regal.

All I am saying is: were I a Spanish model, a la Raquel Sanchez Silva, and were I attending a high fashion event, this is exactly what I would wear. Luckily this falls into that .000001% of scenarios.

The Bad:

As we have established, I like Loretta Lynn. But Rosa Diez, sadly, is not actually Loretta Lynn and as such, this is a very odd choice for a Vogue Red Carpet.

This is what we refer to in my kitchen as an "accessories-breaker." Singer Marta Sanchez's festive getup could've worked, but went awry.

Eva Gonzalez: is this the tiniest bodice in the world? Inquiring minds want to know.

Once I had this friend and everyone was all, "Amy! Why did you take out your nose ring?" And she said, "because there was a chance someone could look at me and think, 'That girl still listens to the Smashing Pumpkins.'" Martina Klein would have done well to heed these words.

The Ugly (ish):

Claudia Schiffer looks smokin', yet awful.

Jade Jagger. Oy vey, as a man once said.

Images via Getty