- 50 Cent on the next leader of the free world: "I'd like to see Hillary Clinton be president. It would be nice to see a woman be the actual president and ... this is a way for us to have Bill Clinton be president again, and he did a great job during his term."
- Speaking of Hil, she's on Letterman tonight to announce she gave away that shady Chinaman's campaign money before anyone really knew whether he was funding terrorism with his counterfeit clothing business or what.
- And Fred Thompson is on Leno tonight to announce he's officially entering the presidential race maybe.
- Listening to Sen. Larry Craig brainwash himself into thinking he's not a homo is somewhat pathetic but yeah we did it anyway.
- World War I-era chemical weapons were found outside the UN but it's no big thing.
- Which is to say, compared the huge world event that is the premiere of the Misshapes book.
- Thanks to global warming — or, you know, LA — Samantha Ronson can rock white jeans all year round, says the WSJ, which just yesterday said on its editorial page the global warming was actually not as bad as during the Depression.