5 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

In this week’s (abbreviated holiday edition) compilation of pop culture crap, Celine Dion’s Florida compound, a drunk man crushes a dog at a party, and Snooki and JWoww’s non-lezebel tongue kiss.

1.) “We’re not lesbians.”
With the new season of Jersey Shore coming back this summer, the cast has begun to make the rounds to promote it. Snooki and JWoww were on The Insider to discuss how they apparently Frenched a number of times during filming. They say it wasn’t romantic. I don’t really care either way, but I love that JWoww’s gum is visible during one of these kisses. It’s comforting to know that even though this season was filmed in Miami, you can take the girl out of Jersey…

2.) Aloha, Lost
For its Lost special after the finale, why did the set of Jimmy Kimmel Live! look like the set of a Real World/Road Rules Challenge? Where’s Kenny and Evan?

3.) Nick Cannon hit on Tyra
This week, an audience member asked Tyra if any of her famous guests, in the five-year history of her show, had ever hit on her. Tyra then told a story of a young, famous man in his 20s who asked her to dinner, and she agreed because she thought his intentions were platonic. She realized that they weren’t and shut him down, and mentions that he went on to marry someone older than herself. As if we wouldn’t be able to figure out that was Nick Cannon. The thing that got me most about this whole diatribe is the way that she’s talking, which is vastly different from how she very carefully says “digital art” on ANTM.

4.) Celine Dion’s house
This week, Celine Dion called into The Wendy Williams Show, where, among things, she discussed the home she built in Florida, where she and her family are settling down so that her son can attend school. That picture is not of an amusement park, but rather, her front yard.

5.) Stupid fucking football
This week on Judge Judy, this case started off amazingly. A man was drunk at his friend’s party and was serving as “the entertainer” by imitating a sketch he’d seen on TV (over and over again) which—according to the summary at the beginning of the episode—resulted in the host’s dog being crushed! Just as the defendant was about to get into the meat of the story, CBS news interrupted for a “breaking story” about how the Superbowl will be coming to the New York area. I was so pissed off.